Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

According to an air hostess I’ve been seeing these past couple of weeks. She’s Japanese. I met her in Qatar last year but didn’t really get to spend any time with her. But we exchanged e-mails and now it turns out she’s rostered onto Hong Kong flights. At least for this month.

Anyway we met for for a couple of glasses and I popped the question. Do all Japanese girls squeak? I asked. It’s been some years since I was in Japan and I couldn’t remember any of the girls I’d slept with squeaking.

But they always do in porn movies, I insisted. She said the she certainly doesn’t and pointed out that most peoples houses were small and the walls thin. Girls would be too embarrassed to go outside if they made noises like that.

She won’t let me rumple up her air hostess uniform but on subsequent visits she does bring other uniforms that I’m more than welcome to mess up. Sometimes she squeaks but then she catches herself and we end up laughing.

Have you ever actually tried nude sushi? It’s sashimi really since you layer it onto a naked body rather then a block of rice and you don’t actually eat the body, just suck and lick it a bit … well rather a lot really.

The idea is that you layer bit of sashimi over a naked body and then eat it without using chopsticks. It’s great in theory but the problem is that without wasabi and soy sauce the sashimi isn’t all the great and girls do not like getting either of those in their pussies. And you would not like them on your dick either I can assure you.

Dessert items work a lot better, canned fruit and whipped cream are excellent and neither of them sting. Smarties or chocolate M&Ms will get you into a delicious colourful mess. For the weight conscious try slices of peach, mango, kiwi and banana with yoghurt. Mmmmm yummy.

Enjoy these shaved pussies from Japan, you can find more at these links:

See also Service with a smile
See also Nine Shaved pussies from Japan
See also: 101 shaved Asian Pussies
See also: G Queen Site Review

As soon as had I pressed the button on the last post I remembered this little blockbuster from the good folks at G-Queen. If you are going to run a mini-mart this is the way to do it. Tell everyone take off their knickers before they are allowed in.

It makes perfect sense. It would cut down on petty theft because there would be fewer pockets in which to hide things. It would also save me from this kind of indignity next time I think about getting the hots for a checkout girl.

But quite simply it would just make popping out for a couple of packets of dried noodles a lot more fun.

Look what I got at Marks & Spencers

I hate shopping, I loathe it to the very core of my soul. I’m not the only one. I’ve seen it on the faces of other blokes as they hang around changing rooms waiting for the Mrs to try on yet another dress or nodding obediently in Ikea as it is pointed out to them that these knick-knacks will look very nice next to all the other crap that is now cluttering up the idiotic curly bookshelf they bought last week.

But shopping is a necessary evil and I do have to do it sometimes. So I tend to do it early on weekday mornings. I find 10.00am on a Wednesday is a good time. And I’ve noticed there are quite a few other men have the same idea. It’s a joy to watch, each customer knows exactly what he is looking for. This week it’s shirts; try on one, buy five and away. The chore is completed in a matter of minutes.

It’s money for old rope as far as the stores are concerned and they should quietly promote it. Not with sales, big advertising and shit. We’re happy to pay a little more just to avoid the weekend melee. But they could see to it that they have their prettiest staff working and that they smile when they swipe our credit cards. That would be really nice.

I’ve never been into BDSM much myself. Some of the accessories are fun and on the right kind of body some of the fetish fashions are very sexy indeed. But when it comes to the actual inflicting and receiving of pain I’m a bit of a wimp I’m afraid.

I’ve chatted with the girls outside the Try Something Different bar in Bangkok numerous times. They don’t inflict pain though they do sometimes stroke the toys they have across the front of my trousers. I’ve never been inside although they always try to entice me. They tell me there are live shows and audience interaction.

I’d always been led to understand by the S&M folks that I’ve met that it is bad form to get into that stuff when you were drinking alcohol as some people tend to get a bit carried away. But I guess in an environment like that there are people keeping an eye on proceedings.

I don’t want to interact but I would like to see the girls. The average Thai build is too slight to carry BDSM gear convincingly and I’m keen to find out if they have recruited some bustier examples from somewhere.

How much for one beer, I asked. “Nine-hundreds baht for first beer,” she beamed, taking my hand. “OUCH!” I yelped and scampered away.

According to some commentators the world is going to end on December 21, 2012. The Mayans said so, they bleat. The Mayan’s world actually came to an end over a thousand years ago so we can’t ask them for an update. Joseph Smith, founder of the Mormon church reckoned that Jesus would return to Earth by 1891 after which the End of Times would begin. Pat Robertson claimed it was going to end in 1982 but he’s still out there talking shit. And last year Harold Camping said May … and then October.

I think it’s all a load of bollocks. In a world of celebrity obsession and reality TV they are just sad gits resorting to desperate measures to grab their fifteen minutes.

But just in case I’m going to see that I get as much fucking and wanking in as I possibly can. Happy New Year