Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

I get the impression sometimes that lots of people think a ‘girlfriend experience’ is something elusive and mysterious. In case there is anyone who doesn’t know the term, a girlfriend experience is a rendezvous with a sex worker who … well … behaves more like a girlfriend than a sex worker.

She is someone who is good at giving the impression that she actually likes you and enjoys having sex with you rather than just lying back and counting the dollar signs. Well of course, that is the kind of service we all prefer but what baffles me is why some people think it is harder to find than the golden fleece itself.

I was talking to a girl the other day who made me think about this. We’d just had a post coital doze and were getting dressed. “Thank you,” she said, “you make me happy.” I told her that I was glad that I could make her cum too.

“Not only,” she said. “Last customer was a very boring man, he no smile, he no talk. I feel very scare … so I make him cum very quickly. He pay 2 hour but him finish, him go 30 minutes only. He not say anything but I afraid he angry … but now I happy again,” and she gave me a big hug.

Sex work is a risky business and you can understand some girls being a bit reserved at first. Of course, there are those that are never going to lighten up but for the most part my encounters are always cheerful and friendly. They are human beings and they respond well to being treated as such.

Contrary to popular belief not all air hostesses are gagging for it the moment they get off the plane. In fact very few are. But for a fellow who finds himself working in some pretty sexually inhospitable places sometimes it is either a trolly dolly or a camel, the natives are out of bounds.

I’ve been seeing a Filipina hostess. She’s married but we both agreed that this was a no commitment affair. But inevitably the conversation rolls around.

“Would it have been any different,” she asks, “if I’d met you before.” Before what I ask. “You know, a long time ago.”

It would have been very different I assure her, you wouldn’t have liked me then. “Why do you think that?” she asks. Because I was the same then as I am now and you would have had no interest in a discreet, no commitment affair. I pointed out that it was perfectly normal to feel bored and lonely when her work kept her away from home. But that if she was unhappy at home she must deal with it without the clutter of another person clouding her judgement.

She told me everything was fine at home but she worried about me. There’s no need, I told her, I’ve come this far alone I’m sure I can make it the rest of the way. She seemed somehow reassured.

She had an early morning flight next day and I left a few days later. I’m still not sure if she was breaking up with me or trying to propose. She has my e-mail address but she hasn’t contacted me since. Probably for the best.

			The phrase was originally used back in the days of the Vietnam war when GIs used it as a term for endearment for their girlfriends. I came across it in the 1980s when I first went to Hong Kong. Back then it was used to describe the girls that hung out The Pussycat and the Makati discos in Wanchai. Most of those girls were Filipinas who were domestic helpers in the daytime and making a little extra on the side on weekends. The phrase was also applied to Cathay Pacific air hostesses, at least for a while. Author Simon Winchester made mention of it in his introduction to the Book Here be Dragons in 1997. Apparently he was informed, the next time he tried to board a cathay flight, that it was already full.

See also: Class of 88
See also: Thai Cuties

Click my ass

I was in ShoeMart the other day, in Manila. I had gone to buy, of all things, a pair of shoes. Conversation between myself and the salesgirl was already slightly flirty so, without really expecting one, I decided to to ask for a discount.

“I’m sorry,” she said “we don’t give discounts … so you can kiss my ass.” Exaggerating her American accent for the latter half of the sentence and giggling sweetly.

“Madam,” I replied, with an exaggerated English accent, “had I realised the transaction would afford an opportunity to get acquainted with an ass as fine as yours I would have offered to pay double.”

But she did agree to have dinner with me that evening after she finished work and then later we are able to complete the deal as agreed.

See me getting fucked

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I don’t get to visit the Philippines as much as I would like. During the the last couple of years my travels have been taking me to more mundane places that offer little in the way of sexual shenanigans, unless you are into camels. Now I’m sure there is fun to be had in those places, you just need a little more inside knowledge than I have at present.

With regard to the Philippines, I’m happy to say that it’s people, especially the girls, are well represented in Hong Kong so even though I don’t get to visit the country very often I can still enjoy some of it’s best attractions. I’m also happy to note that a new site has just been launched, or at least one that I’d never seen before, enabling every one else to enjoy some of those attractions. Hot Manila Nights presents collections of bargirls and girlfriends both solo and hardcore as well as steamy lesbian scenes.

Videos are a whopping HD 1280×720px. If the ones on the tour are a good example they are also clear and sharp with plenty of sticky, close up detail.

Subscriptions come in at a whisker under US$30 per month with twice weekly updates promised. Phone billing is also available. Sounds like a bargain to me.

Website: Hot Manila Nights

Check out my pussy, special offer

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There’s a story doing the internet rounds that says shopping can cause impotency in men. I have believed this all along but according to the story boffins have discovered that a chemical compound found on some till receipts contains enough Bisphenol A (BPA) to suppress male hormones in the body.

BPA is the stuff that helps the ink stick to the paper. It also sticks to your fingers so when you stick a doughnut or something into your mouth it carries a payload of Bisphenol A.

Berlin-based urologist Professor Frank Sommer told the Daily Telegraph; “A substance like that could shift the balance of the sex hormones in men towards oestrogen.”

“In the long term this leads to less sexual drive, encourages the belly instead of the muscles to grow and has a bad effect on erection and potency.” he continued.

Encourages the belly eh? So next time the missus wants a Saturday afternoon at the mall just tell that the till receipts will make her fat.