Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

Anna

Naam

Edmilyn

Cosima

Cielo

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I heard this in a bar the other night so grab a beer and click open a gallery before you read it

An accountant gets home late one night and his wife says to him, “Where the hell have you been?”

“I was out getting a tattoo,” he replies.

“Tattoo?” she frowned. “What kind of tattoo?”

“I got a hundred dollar bill on my cock,” he said proudly.

“What the hell were you thinking?” she said, shaking her head in disdain. “Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill on his penis?”

“Well,” he began, firstly I like to watch my money grow; second, once in a while, I like to play with my money; Three, I like how money feels in my hand; and lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want!”

See Also: Philosophy is like an erection
See Also: Annual check-up

Spicy dish: Click the pic and Gaya will show you her shaved Indian pussy

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I had the luxury of being in an office today when a group of ladies uttered a collective “eeiiuuw!!“. They’d just read the news that the authorities in Bihar, one of India’s poorest states, were encouraging people to eat rats in an effort to beat the food shortages.

Rats steal rice so by eating them you not only conserve the rice you get a meal at the same time. Rats are cheap, plentiful and easy to breed. In fact you can’t stop the little fuckers.

Now not all rats live in the sewers and those that don’t I would put far lower on the eeiiuuw scale than something like oysters or caviar. Just think about what oysters and caviar really are for a moment … and remember that oyster isn’t even cooked … eeiiuuw your right!

Now I’ve eaten some pretty funky things on my travels, snakes, grasshoppers, sheep’s testicles and fugu, a fish so toxic that chefs in Japan need a special licence to prepare it. Harkarl, which is Icelandic for shark meat that has been buried in the volcanic ash until it makes the stinkiest of stinky cheese lovers wince, is washed down with Brenivin (aka black death) which is a schnapps made from potatoes and old socks.

Rats, I can assure you, are not at all bad. Minced, mixed with spices and cooked kebab style in a clay oven would be typically Bihari. Serve with dahl which can be licked directly from Gaya Patal, yumm!

See also: Bar snacks in Bangkok
See also: Watermelon man
See also: The sweet mystery of Asha Kumara

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For those of you that like your eroticism a bit arty I urge you to go check out this delicious Indian girl over at Beauty and Sin. She goes by the name of Mohini and she is from Jaipur in Rajasthan where taking pictures like these would generally be frowned upon.

According to her profile Mohini “… believes in self discipline, instinct, constant learning, subtle curves, and attention to detail.” She also likes “… a memory to embrace, and a guilty pleasure to reflect upon with a knowing smile.”

So do I, Mohini, so do I

See more: Mohini
Read also: Savita Bhabhi: Indian anime
Read also: Inside Asha Kumara

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There’s not much that is old in Old Hong Kong. What’s left is mostly in a district called Mongkok on the Kowloon side of the harbour and even that is hidden behind a barrier of concrete and glass, shops, malls and traffic jams.

According to the Guinness book of records Mongkok is the most densely populated place on earth. It’s easy to believe, but if you elbow your way through the crowds and head off down a side street towards Shanghai Street and Reclamation Street you can get away from it a bit.

Reclamation street once ran along the western side of Kowloon and, as you might have guessed, was built on reclaimed land. Now it is about a kilometre inland but around here it is still possible to find some older buildings, shops and markets.

The menu

It’s also possible to find some old brothels so the other afternoon I went off in search. They’re not difficult to find. Along Reclamation Street they are about the only things that have any neon outside. All the other signs hark back to a time before neon. The ‘menus’ are a bit of a give-away too though they seem mostly to be more wishful thinking than reality. Perhaps they too hark back to an earlier time.

At the top of the narrow staircase I was greeted by the manager. “We have Chinese girl $350 or Thai girl $300″ he said. How about Russian girls I queried but he shook his head “Only Chinese and Thai.”

Reclamation Street

It looked like the reception of an old hotel. A wooden reception counter to the right a few chairs, and old wood panelled walls - cheap looking but old none-the-less. I asked him to show me some Thai girls. He took me down to a room and asked me to wait.

The room boasted more wood panelling, this time interspersed with mirrors. There were also mirror tiles on the ceiling suggesting that this had been a brothel or short time hotel for a good many years. A black and white TV was showing Japanese porn but the bathroom fittings were pleasingly modern but the Athenian corners were cheesy.

After about five minutes two girls appeared. I’d already decided I’d send them away if I wasn’t happy with them but one of them was really very cute indeed so I paid the man and sent the other girl away.

She had a shy almost frightened look to here which was explained by the fact that she had only been in Hong Kong for two days and was very new to this line of work. I spoke in Thai as far as my abilities would allow me which seemed to relax her. She said she was planning to stay for two months, the maximum her visa would allow, and go back. After that she would decide on whether to do a stint in Singapore.

Despite being on a time limit sex was slow and gentle, she gave me what is known as a good GFE (girlfriend experience). Afterwards she showered pronto and made a bolt for the door. “Bye bye” she said, and blowing me a kiss she was gone. I was still pulling my trousers back on. She was a cute girl and she’ll probably do well for herself in this business if she’s sensible. But the first thing she’s got to do is learn to wait for the tip.

Read also: Suzie Wong Revisited
Read also: Wanchai
Read also: The Red Lips bar

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I took this from a Chinese language forum, here is an online translation from http://www2.worldlingo.com:

Before dawn the zero hour little, in the Lantian blue clouds Lantian park fitness area, a year approximately 40 year old man somehow or other makes movement period in a sit-ups fitness facility, unexpectedly instead passes away pulls open the trousers 鍊 to stretch out the male genitals to start on the palm to press, a male genitals stranger card in the panel diameter 1 inch eyelet, finally is unable to extricate oneself approximately, the painful loud groan, alarms the passer-by to report to the police.

After the fire appearance, sees the male male genitals continuously swelling to be unable to contract, does not have under the brilliant plan in the pain to summon the medical team and two anxiously unites hospital doctor to come to assist. Doctor hits the pain killer injection for this man, another doctor uses the needle to insert nearby his/her male genitals the blood vessel bloodletting, but employs two methods to achieve one goal is still unable to let this man’s male genitals pull out naturally to the eyelet.

The original thread here

More: There is something about Hong Kong Parks though this one is a little more understandable

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On Friday the much molested Olympic torch is set to ignite a squillion fireworks, and with them the dreams of athletes from all around the world. I figured that it would be noble indeed to ignore tawdry politics for a while and raise a cheer for some very fit bodies who wont be collecting any medals in Beijing.

I’m talking about the Olympic Cheerleaders of course. Cheerleading in China has taken a great leap forward in recent years. In the latter half of 2007 a competition was held throughout the country’s schools, colleges and fitness clubs to find the country’s top cheerleaders. There are apparently 428 cheerleaders with 364 of them having won their places through these competitions.

Out with the old …(though I do find them strangely alluring) … in training with the new

If you are going ten venues in Beijing will have cheerleading performances during the Games between August 8 and 24. They are: the northern area of the Olympic Green, the National Stadium, the Olympic Sports Center, the Laoshan bike venue, the Wukesong, the Capital Indoor Stadium,the Workers’ Stadium, the Workers’ Indoor Arena, the Beijing University of Aeronautics and Astronautics Gymnasium, and the Chaoyang Park Beach Volleyball Ground.

Not all these will be sexy students. I believe there will be children’s performances and other more cultural events that are not at all suitable for lascivious thoughts. They’ve all been lumped under the banner of cheerleading so you’d better check

They will also be performing at the following sports: hockey, archery, table tennis, athletics (including marathon and race walking), football, handball, water polo, modern pentathlon (equestrian, running and swimming), bicycling, BMX, baseball, basketball, volleyball, boxing, weightlifting and beach volleyball.

Mmmmm beach volleyball and cheerleaders, what more could a man ask for

*I’ve no idea where that military pic came from but it is a great pic. The others were scavenged from en.beijing2008.cn and beijingolympicsfan.com

See also: After the flood
See also: Suzie Wong Revisited

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The phrase ‘little brown fucking machine’ has been around for a long time, at least since the Vietnam war. I first heard it in Hong Kong where LBFM was used as a collective noun for the army of Filipina domestic helpers that work there. These days it is pretty much applied to girls from all over Southeast Asia; Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia, Laos and Cambodia as well as Vietnam and the Philippines.

Now I don’t have much need to go over to the Philippines these days and I don’t go out of choice because Manila is a pretty grotty place. Which is a shame because other parts of the Philippines are really quite lovely. I do get my Filipina fix every now and then because there are still plenty of them in Hong Kong. So I decided I would dedicate to post to Filipina amateurs. Enjoy

Review: Little Brown Fucking Machines