http://www.seymourtotti.com She was a nice girl, perhaps not the kind I’d choose to go to bed with but I could happily sit and get drunk with her. Of course after a few beers I’d probably have changed my mind about going to bed with her. Beer plays tricks on you like that. Tue, 02 Sep 2008 13:54:58 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en . . A bunch of boring young fuddy-duddies in Raciborz, southern Poland, are campaigning to get a new sex shop closed. The shop has been a huge ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/09/02/meanwhile-in-eastern-europe/ Click quick and screw your bolt into sweet Elise. . . . In an effort to make it bigger Taman Sri Skudai, a welder from Johor Baru in southern Malaysia, stuck his bolt through a very appealing nut. Unfortunately after he got a stiffy he couldn't ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/08/31/the-nuts-and-bolts-of-getting-engaged/ . . Cambodia's Number One condoms were designed for the benefit of gays an sex workers according to AFP. But it turns out the the water-based lubricant that they come with is an excellent cure for acne. Twenty-nine-year-old vendor Tep Kemyoeurn told AFP. "After I used it for three days, all ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/08/30/rub-it-in/ A more complete nun. . . . . . God does work in mysterious ways. Poor old Father Rungi has had to scrap his idea of a beauty pageant for nuns because his bosses weren't too keen. "The local bishop was not happy, but they did not understand me ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/08/28/bad-habits/ Maid in heaven ... yes, I know she's not a nun but she has some disgraceful habits. . . . I'll bet a good may of you have fantasised about them from time to time but did you ever think you'd see the day when there ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/08/25/heavenly-bodies/ Anna Naam Edmilyn Cosima Cielo . I heard this in a bar the other night so grab a beer and click open a gallery before you read it An accountant gets home ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/08/24/five-bargirls-and-a-joke/ Spicy dish: Click the pic and Gaya will show you her shaved Indian pussy . . . . . . . I had the luxury of being in an office today when a group of ladies uttered a collective "eeiiuuw!!". They'd just read the news that the ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/08/19/rat-food/ . . . . . For those of you that like your eroticism a bit arty I urge you to go check out this delicious Indian girl over at Beauty and Sin. She goes by the name of Mohini and she is from Jaipur in Rajasthan where taking pictures like these would generally ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/08/14/indian-dreams/ . . . . . . There's not much that is old in Old Hong Kong. What's left is mostly in a district called Mongkok on the Kowloon side of the harbour and even that is hidden behind a barrier of concrete and glass, shops, malls and traffic jams. According to the Guinness book of records ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/08/12/new-chip-on-an-old-block/ . . . . . . . I took this from a Chinese language forum, here is an online translation from http://www2.worldlingo.com: Before dawn the zero hour little, in the Lantian blue clouds Lantian park fitness area, a year approximately 40 year old man somehow or other makes movement period in a sit-ups fitness facility, unexpectedly instead ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/08/08/the-benchmark-of-desperation/ . . . . . On Friday the much molested Olympic torch is set to ignite a squillion fireworks, and with them the dreams of athletes from all around the world. I figured that it would be noble indeed to ignore tawdry politics for a while and raise a cheer for some very fit ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/08/07/leading-the-cheer/ . . . . . The phrase 'little brown fucking machine' has been around for a long time, at least since the Vietnam war. I first heard it in Hong Kong where LBFM was used as a collective noun for the army of Filipina domestic helpers that work there. These days it is pretty ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/08/04/little-brown-fucking-machines-2/ . . . Tracking down this classic Hong Kong novel, even in Hong Kong, was something of a chore. I finally picked a copy up at the Star Ferry pier. Not the one where Robert Lomax first met Suzie, a recreation of the original Central pier which is now in what would ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/07/30/the-world-of-suzie-wong-revisited/ . The night markets in and around Temple Street in Kowloon are very popular with tourists. I caught this enterprising gentleman setting up his stall this afternoon, obviously in anticipation of doing good business and providing some people with happy memories of their stay in Hong Kong. Read also: Wanchai Read also: ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/07/26/a-bargain/ The spirit of Sappho lives on in Japan. Click for more . . . . A court in Athens has ruled that Lesbians can still be gay. Residents of the island of Lesbos had been trying to get the word lesbian, when used as ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/07/23/where-men-are-lesbians-too/ China:Florence Fong Philippines:Edmilyn and Carla Japan:Rumiko Thailand:Uan India:Asha Kumara . It's been a bit quiet round here lately, I haven't seen anything particularly amusing in the news and I've been ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/07/21/shaved-asian-pussy/ Gratuitous porn, nothing to do with the story. Click to see her shaved Chinese pussy . . If the earth didn't actually move for them at least the car in which they were humping did. In fact it rolled off the ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/07/16/sex-on-the-edge/ Tak ka tan: A bit like Pringles with legs . . Her lacquered fingers delicately pulled the wings away from the body, the legs were similarly dispatched. The torso she popped deftly between ruby red lips. "Arroy" she said. I raised ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/07/15/bar-snacks-in-bangkok/ . . It's come to my attention the Shady Lady Ranch, a brothel in Nevada, is offering a US$50 gas voucher to customers who spend US$300 or more on services. According to Reuters owner James Davis said he already has had to order another $1,000 set of gas vouchers because the ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/07/10/fill-her-up/ . . . . . . . Melons that give me a stiffy . . . . According to a story on ananova.com eating fresh watermelon produces the same effect as taking Viagra. You do have to eat rather a lot of it though. ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/07/07/watermelon-man/ . . . Most ladyboy lovers I've spoken to are quick to point out that having sex with ladyboys does not mean that you are gay. "We are still turned on by femininity," they insist "whereas gay men are attracted to masculinity." My old mate Captain Outrageous agrees. "You still treat them as ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/06/30/the-big-snip/ ..........Hello sailor . . . "Dude, where's our aircraft carrier?", suggested this mornings South China Morning Post as one of the most likely thoughts to be running through the minds of more than a hundred crew members of the USS Ronald Reagan. The ship, ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/06/24/awash-with-seamen/ . . Nineteen-year-old Xiao Yun is a student in Beijing but she is native of Sichuan province in China. Her village was destroyed in last months devastating earthquake. Although her family are all in Beijing she has, never-the-less, been doing her bit to help raise money for the victims by posting ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/06/20/doing-her-bit/ . . This is one of the worlds first ever porn cartoons. It was made in 1928 and documents the adventures of it's hero, Harton, as he attempts to bury his own treasure. Inspired by the birds and the bees it ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/06/17/eveready-harton-buried-treasure/ Yuka Veronika Amiko Ognennaja Tin Tin . The blonde might be natural but the redhead isn't. I don't mind though, I love shocking colours. So we have a platinum blonde, and ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/06/15/awesome-colours/ . . "You can come see me?" "Eh? who is this" I said "Manny, no one coming today" "Eh? ... Oh Mandy." I remembered her tight Chinese pussy "No one coming today, you can come?" Mandy had only recently started working the rooms but she'd given me her number on my first visit. I ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/06/13/after-the-flood/ . . . I came across some Indian anime the other day. It documents the saucy adventures of Savita Bhabhi, a bored Indian lady who's husband is, conveniently, never around. I think Bhabhi means something along the lines of "neighbours sexy wife" but I may be wrong. I know there are some ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/06/11/savita-bhabhi-indian-anime/ Women are from Venus . . . . . I was delighted to learn, via the good offices of ananova.com, that randy couples are queuing up to blow their hard earned wad on astral nookie. Will Whitehorn, president of Virgin Galactic, said the group had ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/06/09/heavenly-sex/ . . One of the seventies best loved posters is on sale again. This time for a princely UK£300. This edition of the picture that soothed the early morning erections of many a student is available as a limited edition canvas print measuring 60cm x 80cm. The photo was taken in 1976 ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/06/07/that-seventies-poster/ A young tourist is in bed with his Thai girlfriend. After enjoying great sex she spends the next hour just stroking his penis, something she had lovingly done on several occasions. Rather enjoying it, the lad turns and asks her, "Why do you like doing that so much?" "Because I really miss ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/06/04/the-right-choice/ . . . . . I've never worn diapers, well not since I was a baby anyway, and I've never really considered them as erotic fun wear ... either for me or my partner. But there are people that do, especially in Japan. Diaper fetish sites are not new though most of them just ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/05/31/nappy-headed/ Not a real cowboy . . . . . An old cowboy was sitting in the new Starbucks enjoying a coffee. Presently a young woman sat down next to him, "Are you a real cowboy?" She asked "Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts," ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/05/27/are-you-a-real-cowboy/ Endangered species . . . . . . Those adorable Japanese schoolgirl uniforms could become a thing of the past as slacks are slowly becoming part of girls uniform throughout the country. Earlier this year Sapporo Junior High made them compulsory and skirts will only be ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/05/26/schoolgirls-under-threat/ Niya Yu is not a Hong Kong MILF, she is an internet porn star but she is still looking great . . . . . . The thing about Hong Kong's 141 girls is that you never really know what you are going to get. The ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/05/22/a-hong-kong-milf/ . . . . . . Been a bit quiet the last couple of weeks. I was holed up in a place where I wouldn't get too distracted so I could finish off a project of unbridled respectability. I also tidied up my porn collection at Asian Floozie. Because you guys love Japanese shaved pussy ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/05/19/shaved-pussy-from-china/ . . . . . . The Ueno Okura Theater, Japan's most famous porno cinema is holding a Porn Festival from May 2 to 7. The cinema shows porn all day everyday but that is not the point; "All our patrons are in their late 40s or older," a theater spokesman says. "We want to ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/05/02/tokyo-smut-festival/ . . . Romania: Having already brought five children into the world Nicolae Popovici and his wife decided enough was enough. Time to get serious about contraception. And serious they got. They invested in a nice comfortable super-sized condom. Unfortunately it was a bit too super-sized so to help it stay in place ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/04/30/stuck-on-you/ . . . . . I've been working on a review of popular condoms recently, it will be published here in due course. Now there are just to many to do a really exhaustive survey so I've decided to omit all the special effect varieties, you know, the textured and the flavoured. They may be ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/04/25/condom-capers/ Nurse Erika has a shaved pussy . . . . . . . . . . . . So I went for my annual medical check-up the other day, the nurse said to me; "Mr. Totti, you really must stop masturbating." "But w-w-why?" I stammerd. "Because I'm trying to examine you!", she ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/04/17/annual-check-up/ Gratuitous smut, now read the story . . . A new contraceptive injection for men that has been developed in Sydney is in danger of being shelved because pharmaceutical companies don't seem very interested in making it available to the public. Whats ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/04/14/contraceptive-jab-for-men-stabbed-in-the-back/ ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/04/13/toss-bots/ Unemployed French maid seeks gainful employment. Click for details . . . . . It seems young Japanese girls dressed as saucy French maids are now passe. In Osaka maid cafes have been a eclipsed by a new otaku venture. Next time you scuff your ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/04/10/mother-care-and-manga/ . . I do like I do like music don't you? I find it soothes and relaxes. One of my favourite pieces is Wagner's Ring and I found a delightful book on Amazon that throws a little light on this deep and intense work. The synopsis says; 'The book is designed ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/04/09/penetrating-wagners-ring/ "Want to eat Chinese?" . . . . . . . I read an intriguing article the other day on the basics of cunnilingus. It was written by a woman so I guess that is about as authoritative as you can get. It did offer some interesting ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/04/08/dining-at-the-y/ "Check in and check out my yummy, super-smooth Japanese pussy" . Residents in Tokyo's sleazy Kabukicho district are unhappy about a new hotel raising the tone of the area. At the end of March Best Western opened their Shinjuku Astina ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/04/07/new-hotel-poor-reception/ . . . . . There are some funny names in Thailand. Actually most of them are nicknames. They do have formal names, they are often chosen by a monk when the child is about 30 days old. These are usually long and cumbersome and only used for official documents. In the meantime the ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/04/06/fancy-a-facial/ Anna Aileen Jenni Dana Mine . Can't complain at that! Five new sweeties for all you Met lovers out there. Actually that's not strictly true, I had that Jenni on here ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/04/03/five-naked-girls/ A fifty five-year-old Scottish man was, according to Friday's South China Morning Post, found in a public park in Ho Man Tin wearing a mini skirt, silk stockings, high heels and make-up. He was also padlocked and chained to a park bench. "A friend did it for fun." he ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/03/30/going-for-the-ball/ . . . . You're laying back in a nice bubble bath with a masseuse trying to squeeze your dick between her firm soapy tits and all you can think about is whether you took the lottery tickets out your shirt pocket before you put it in the laundry, or did you ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/03/27/recreational-drugs/ . . . . I found this fabulous Video on Lisa Baxter's site. Hollywood cranked out hundreds of short propaganda and public awareness campaign films back in the 40's and 50's. This little gem deals with Lesbianism, which at the time was viewed ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/03/25/the-disease-of-lesbianism/ Mature Asian women: Not shy and demure any more . . . . . . From the novel A killing Smile by Christopher Moore: "Zeno, Headquarters, HQ, the Star Wars Bar on Sukhumvit. You can't miss it. Fake Greek columns in front of a sign that reads ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/03/21/thermae-bangkok-the-last-chance-saloon/ Hold still a moment, I think you've got something in your eye . . . . . . . . "Hi Khun Seymour," she beamed as she put the bottle in front of me. "How you?" "I'm good, Em, and how are you?" "I'm ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/03/18/the-bargirl-name-game/ . . . . . Any fellow who thinks fucking for a living is just "my kind of job" may care to consider the fate of this intrepid reporter for Japan's in Osaka, Japan. I tell ya, shagging women is a dangerous occupation, I've had my share of scrapes. But I always do ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/03/13/its-a-tough-job/ . . . . I had been reading the newspaper. I know, ghastly old fashioned things filled with half-truths and outright lies, almost as bad as the television. But I was trying to acquaint myself with recent events in Nepal with a view to paying a visit when I found a story about ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/03/10/kathmandu-revisited/ . . . . Growing up hasn't always been so easy. Young fellows struggling with puberty these days can rely on the internet for a ready supply of free porn to ease the journey. Before the world wide web free porn was much harder to ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/02/27/razzle-in-my-pocket/ . . . . Saitama, Japan - Clad in a brand new schoolgirl uniform that he had bought over the internet, any hopes that thirty-nine-year-old Tetsunori Nanpei may have had about being accepted by the student community were dashed when the pupils by the main gate started screaming. Undeterred he skipped inside thinking ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/02/23/back-to-schooldays/ Not the blushing bride or her beau but good decoration for the article anyway ... and yes, they both have dicks! . . . . Following last weeks interview, Captain Outrageous e-mailed me this story. He gave me ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/02/21/ladyboy-wedding/ Jenni Asuka Ketrin Natalia Julia . I figured it was time for another Met-Art round-up. I've never been a member of the site, I shudder to think how many gazillions of pictures ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/02/19/the-spice-of-life/ . . . . . . I picked up some Viagra in Hong Kong. It's easy enough to get in Bangkok but not all that cheap. In Hongkers it's cheaper but there is, I'm told, a greater risk from fakes. "Taste it", I was told "if it tastes bitter it's the right stuff, if there ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/02/17/a-bitter-taste/ ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2008/02/14/porn-cache-caught/