http://www.seymourtotti.com Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:42:25 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en According to an air hostess I've been seeing these past couple of weeks. She's Japanese. I met her in Qatar last year but didn't really get to spend any time with her. But we exchanged e-mails and now it turns out she's rostered onto Hong Kong flights. At least ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2012/02/03/japanese-girls-dont-squeak/ I was asked, the other day, how I manage to keep my youthful good looks. Apparently I didn't look like the old pot-bellied, beer swilling drunk that my inquisitor assumed normally hangs out at Bangkok girly bars. I ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2012/02/01/bangkok-bar-girls/ Well it took two years for the idea to germinate but I'm sure it wont take that long before it actually goes into production. The FleshLiPad is a helpful little device that allows you to attach your fleshlight to the underside of your iPad so you can more effectively fap ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2012/01/31/necessity-is-the-mother-of-invention/ I heard the sad tale of a man fapped his way off this mortal coil while surfing porn on the internet. Heart attack apparently though it wasn't known if it happened mid-stroke or if it was triggered by the realisation of a sticky nirvana. Either way sitting at the kitchen ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2012/01/27/till-death-do-us-part/ The year has started cold and miserable in Hong Kong. It's made even more miserable by the shortage of working girls. Well at least my favourite ones have all buggered off back to China for the spring festival. There are others of course but in weather like this I ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2012/01/24/year-of-the-dragon/ http://www.seymourtotti.com/2012/01/19/silky-smooth-pussy-from-japan/ You know the time, when she's just got out the shower and she's got a soft fluffy dressing gown on and a towel wrapped around her head. But underneath them she is all shiny and clean and naked and smelling of lovely soapy things. It makes me so horny. Got ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2012/01/14/soft-fluffy-towels/ As soon as had I pressed the button on the last post I remembered this little blockbuster from the good folks at G-Queen. If you are going to run a mini-mart this is the way to do it. Tell everyone take off their knickers before they are allowed in. It makes ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2012/01/12/shaved-japanese-lesbian-pussy-at-the-7-11/ Look what I got at Marks & Spencers I hate shopping, I loathe it to the very core of my soul. I'm not the only one. I've seen it on the faces of other blokes as they hang around changing rooms waiting for the Mrs ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2012/01/10/are-you-being-served/ I've never been into BDSM much myself. Some of the accessories are fun and on the right kind of body some of the fetish fashions are very sexy indeed. But when it comes to the actual inflicting and receiving of pain I'm a bit of a wimp I'm afraid. I've chatted ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2012/01/08/striking-up-a-conversation/ I get the impression sometimes that lots of people think a 'girlfriend experience' is something elusive and mysterious. In case there is anyone who doesn't know the term, a girlfriend experience is a rendezvous with a sex worker ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2012/01/06/the-girlfriend-experience-gfe/ It seems Christmas cracker Xuan-Vy provoked quite a few erections out there. I think it was the cute little red hat that did it, after all there are sweet shaved pussies aplenty lying around. I've got to admit though, the lass simply oozes sex. Xuan-Vy is Vietnamese, at least ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2012/01/04/xuan-vy-sticks-her-ass-in-the-air-again/ Call me old fashioned but I've never been into really hard core porn. If I'm going to fantasise about girl I don't want to see ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2012/01/02/emission-accomplished/ According to some commentators the world is going to end on December 21, 2012. The Mayans said so, they bleat. The Mayan's world actually came to an end over a thousand years ago so we can't ask them for an update. Joseph Smith, founder of the Mormon church reckoned ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2012/01/01/fappy-new-year/ I know a girl who has a goldfish on her right shoulder. "It's not finished yet!" she pleaded when I asked if I could take a picture of it. And when are you going to get it finished? She told me the next time she goes back up ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/12/31/painted-ladies/ Childish I know but I can't help but snigger everytime I pass one of these. This one is staffed by two delicious bits of crumpet. Sadly they think I'm only interested in their lemon meringue and egg custards. Little do they know that I dream of eating their muffins. http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/12/30/good-enought-to-eat/ Contrary to popular belief not all air hostesses are gagging for it the moment they get off the plane. In fact very few are. But for a fellow who finds himself working in some pretty sexually inhospitable places sometimes it is either a trolly dolly or a camel, the natives ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/12/29/taking-off/ Here's a trio of delicious, brown shaved pussies. Why? Because they are trio of delicious, brown shaved pussies. What other reason could you need? Oh all right, they are called Emelie, Maya, and Janelyn. http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/12/27/little-brown-shaved-pussy/ This is Xuan-Vy, she's Vietnamese and she wants to tell you where you can stick your Christmas pudding! Call me Scrooge but I don't like Christmas. Oh I'm all for peace on earth and goodwill to all mankind, you never see any of that though. You get shopping malls engorged ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/12/25/merry-christmas-guys/ Some years ago in Hong Kong I was walking back to the office after a liquid lunch with some colleagues. Along Pottinger Street there are a lot of fancy dress stalls. One of the girls in the group decided it was the perfect time to try on a a ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/12/24/showing-pink/ I found a nice little coffee shop the other day which is owned and operated by a cute Japanese cougar. She is also the waitress, the ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/11/12/service-with-a-smile-and-a-shapely-bum/ I'm all wet Me, I've been off mountain biking in China. Pedaling furiously between mysterious pinnacles of limestone. Stopping occasionally to catch my breath as I round a gnarled and bushy karst to catch sight of emerald green rice fields and the sound of ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/11/01/a-bit-wet/ There's something about cleavages. They are like a visual vortex, a fleshy whirlpool into which you're eyes get sucked. There is no escape. Even if you have no sexual interest in the owner of a particular cleavage if ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/10/30/cleavage/ There's a lady I run into in sometimes. She lives in Pattaya where she runs a successful deck chair rental business but from time to time she gets the bus up to Bangkok. She leaves the deck ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/10/04/old-friends-2/ I get to spend such a small part of my time at my Bangkok bolthole. I love the place immensely but there's no money to be made in Thailand so I only get to go there when I'm ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/10/04/looks-can-be-deceiving/ . . . A notorious toe sucker from the nineties has struck again according to Arkansas police. Foot fetishist Michael Robert Wyatt, 50, was arrested on Monday after he was identified from a photo line-up by two of his victims. “The man approached them in local stores commenting on their feet and asking ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/09/27/toe-suck-fairy-strikes-again/ From time to time I get asked where to find the best Chinese girls. Then I get a look of disappointment when I say Hong Kong. Some people have heard that Shanghai girls are the prettiest, others think Beijing are ... and so on. The thing is you can ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/09/17/chinese-pussy/ A brand new site has popped up called Submit your Thai. It showcases amateur models, though I'd guess they are mostly bargirls, shot by their enthusiastic customers. I haven't been in the members area but from what I've ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/07/29/submit-your-thai/ I've been ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/06/26/nine-shaved-pussies-from-japan/ . . .Hong Kong's 3D blockbuster movie Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy is to be recognised for its contributions to mankind. According to the South China Morning Post the producers are off to Spike TV's "Guys Choice Awards" in Los Angeles on June 10 and are expected lift the “Mankind Award” for ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/05/27/zen-porn-gets-a-pat-on-the-back/ . I was forced to remember, the other day, that Asian girls also exist outside Asia. "What's the difference then?" demanded my companion, who had just decided he was now drunk enough to broach the subject. Langauge, diet and familiarity with western culture are the ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/05/24/american-asian-girls/ Well I decided it's time for a few more Met girls to brighten you weary day. Finding Met Asians is always a challenge and while I have nothing against the more ubiquitous blue-eyed blondes ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/04/28/more-mets/ Farewell Poly you were just fucking awesome and you made braces sexy long before anyone else had them. Poly Styrene aka Marianne Joan Elliott-Said, 3 July 1957 – 25 April 2011 http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/04/26/oh-bondage-up-yours/ Years ago while I was still living in London there was a receptionist at a company that I needed to phone quite frequently. Her voice alone used to drive me wild with simple conversations such as; "Hello Janice, Seymour Totti here. How are you today?" "I'm very well thanks Mr Totti. ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/04/21/in-a-manner-of-speaking/ Every once in a while I get an e-mail from some evangelical twit telling me what a nasty, disgusting and god-less person they think I am. The last one, from someone calling themselves "Guardian Angel", suggested the usual trope that I was "..some fat, pissed-up old geezer that hangs out ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/04/16/i-hang-my-head-in-shame/ Hong Kong's first 3D porn movie was launched this week. Sex & Zen: Extreme Ecstasy is the story of a young man who gets to know a duke. This allows him access to a world of royal orgies and other sexual shenanigans. The $3 million dollar blockbuster is a remake ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/04/15/sex-zen-extreme-ecstasy/ Well we've had tits and ass this past week so it seems only right that we should have pussy as well. Since I know how much you all admire the shaved Japanese kind I'll ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/04/08/shaved-japanese-pussy/ A client of mine is an enthusiastic tit-man. I discovered this over refreshments one evening. He was extolling the virtues of his accountants new secretary; "They are whoppers," he said, spreading his palms out to demonstrate. "You don't often see Asian gals with boobs that size." It's true, big tits are ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/04/05/the-beauty-of-big-tits/ I got chatting, last night, with a gentleman who is a connoisseur of asses. He loves them all, big, small, plump bubble butts or skinny. Western, Asian or African, if a girl sits on ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/04/02/the-bottom-line/ Click me Hot, Indian swimwear model Poonam Pandey, 20, has vowed to get her kit off if her country wins the Cricket World Cup. "I'm a cricket fanatic and I'm a diehard supporter of my nation. India needs a lot of support and this is my ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/03/31/knock-me-for-six/ Click me "What milf?", she asked returning from the bathroom after a post-coital pee. I squinted at her. It can be difficult to tell the ages of Asian girls sometimes. You think they are mid-twenties but then you find out they are forty-something. Mother, ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/03/29/i-cougar/ Fiona Walker, the most famous tennis star to never play tennis, has turned around around for the first time 35 years after the famous picture was shot. Fiona, now a 52-year old illustrator, was 18 when her then boyfriend, Martin Elliott, took the snap. Athena bought the rights ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/03/25/anyone-for-tennis/ It's time for the annual Hong Kong Rugby Sevens and, like a homing pidgeon with 3-day stubble, I'm back in town to enjoy the fun. I'm also looking forward to getting my leg over and sloshing back a few beers. Until I finish my ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/03/22/chinese-girls/ A French court has banned the use of the name 'The Original Condom from Condom, France'. According to AFP the judges ruling states "It is clear that the use of the name, the image and the renown of the town of Condom, without its knowledge, for entirely commercial ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/03/18/condoms-not-from-condom/ The phrase was originally used back in the days of the Vietnam war when GIs used it as a term for endearment for their girlfriends. I came across it in the 1980s when ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/02/23/little-brown-fucking-machines-3/ Just in time for Valentines Day some killjoys in Clearwater Bay, Hong Kong have put up a sign in the local lovers lane intended to stop folks driving down there for a quick shag, according to yesterdays South China Morning Post. For those who may be unfamiliar, 'Dogging' ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/02/14/no-dogging/ The weather has been real shitty recently so I phoned the Met office to complain. "It's the time of the year sir," they opined. I told them that I didn't care about that and ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/02/13/the-met-office/ Click my ass I was in ShoeMart the other day, in Manila. I had gone to buy, of all things, a pair of shoes. Conversation between myself and the salesgirl was already slightly flirty so, without really expecting one, I decided to to ask for ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/02/05/kiss-my-ass/ . Kung Hei Fat Choi as they say in Hong Kong. It means happy and prosperous new year. If you are not already aware, this is the year of the rabbit. And, as we all know rabbits breed like ... well rabbits. If you were born in 1939, 1951, ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/02/03/fuck-like-rabbits/ . . The word banana comes from the African language wolof but probably arrived in the English via Portuguese or Spanish. Archaeological evidence suggests that they were first cultivated in Papua New Guinea as far back as 5,000 BCE. They come in a range of ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/01/31/bananamour/ . . . If one wishes to live like a king but one is not born with the financial resources to do so, it is gratifying to know that at least one can now fuck like a king. To facilitate this one need only invest five British pounds in a packet of ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/01/30/fit-for-a-king/ One of the questions that I got asked about the 88 girls was that if they are Thai how come they look different from the girls on some of the other sites ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/01/14/thai-cuties/ Peter parrot pokes Polly and then, at around the 40 second mark, hops off and does a lap of honour around the cage to celebrate. It is this bit that makes the film worth its weight in gold. Meanwhile Polly pimps her feathers and clearly doesn't respect him afterwards. It's ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/01/11/parrot-porn/ . . Connoisseurs of Asian porn will probably have noticed by now that AsianZilla has had a bit of a nip-and-tuck recently. For those of you that have only just discovering the sensual beauties of the far east let me introduce you. AsianZilla was first launched back in 2000. It quickly ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/01/08/asianzilla-alive-and-kickin/ Fancy a fling? . . . . . It was not long ago I was mourning anniversary of the passing of Kirsty MacColl and now it seems that Gerry Rafferty has gone (04 Jan 2011). Like Kirsty I suspect his song, Baker Street, is probably more famous than the ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2011/01/07/baker-street/ Happy New Year, click my pic and pop your cork . . . . Hot Thai babe Kanda Kan would like to celebrate the year end by showing you her rear end. Click the pic and you'll find she's showing you practically every end she's got. Kanda ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2010/12/31/happy-new-year-3/ See me getting fucked . . . . . I don't get to visit the Philippines as much as I would like. During the the last couple of years my travels have been taking me to more mundane places that offer little in the way of sexual shenanigans, unless ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2010/12/27/hot-manila-nights/ . . . . . . . . Bah humbug . . . . . . . One of the great things about living in Asia is that Christmas decorations don't start going up before the beginning of December which means I'm not quite as thoroughly sick to death ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2010/12/24/christmas-box/ Kirsty MacColl died ten years ago today. For those of you who don't know she is the female singer on the Pogues Fairytale of New York which you can usually hear on the radio and in shopping malls at around this time of year. She was a wonderful singer and songwriter ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2010/12/18/my-affair/ I had an e-mail, the other day, from a gentleman who wanted to know why I never show any pictures of the 88 Square girls. The truth is, ... http://www.seymourtotti.com/2010/12/14/class-of-88/