Seymour Totti's Foreign Policy

Twelve tight Chinese pussies

Seymour Totti — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 13:33:59 +0000

Click for a dozen shaved Chinese pussies

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Since the previous posts of shaved Japanese pussies I’ve had a few requests for a similar post featuring shaved Chinese pussies. Some folks have even gone as far as to wonder what the difference between Chinese and Japanese might be.

China is so vast you could almost ask what is the difference between Chinese and Chinese. The classic Hong Kong beauty looks different from the classic Beijing babe and they both look different to a Sichuan sizzler.

But there is something that they all seem to have in common. They almost never shave their pussies. According to Kitty, a lass from northern China I had the pleasure of knowing, tufts of hair are considered lucky. They foretell of long life and wealth to come.

KItty had only a light downy patch which I liked very much but she was horrified when I suggested that she shave them off completely and have done with it “NO!” She exclaimed, “want more.”

To find Chinese girls that shave you have to search the Chinatowns around Southeast Asia where attitudes are a little less traditional, and where most of these girls appear to be from.

The Pro comes alive

Seymour Totti — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 16:12:55 +0000

Click pic to watch trailer

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.I’ve never been that big on comic books though I did make an exception for Garth Ennis’ deliciously degenerate take on super-heroes, The Pro. It’s a story about a single mother who hooks on the side to make ends meet. One day she wakes up to discover she has been given supernatural powers and that the “League of Honour” a group of strangely familiar looking super-heroes is welcoming her into the club.

However, she doesn’t blend all that well with the squeaky clean image of your average Joe Superhero and she shows them, and the values that go with them, up for the anachronism that they are. She also pisses on her vanquished villains and gives The Saint (Superman) a blow job.

The book was originally published in 2002. According to wikipedia there had been talk about a live action adaptation last year. This appears to have been shelved and an animated pilot has been made and posted to youtube. It’s really quite faithful to the original and I hope they go all our to turn it into a series or a feature.

I won’t spoil the story for you, enjoy the clip and I highly recommend you go out and find a copy of the book, Amazon have it.

Shop till you droop

Seymour Totti — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 10:48:51 +0000

Check out my pussy, special offer

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There’s a story doing the internet rounds that says shopping can cause impotency in men. I have believed this all along but according to the story boffins have discovered that a chemical compound found on some till receipts contains enough Bisphenol A (BPA) to suppress male hormones in the body.

BPA is the stuff that helps the ink stick to the paper. It also sticks to your fingers so when you stick a doughnut or something into your mouth it carries a payload of Bisphenol A.

Berlin-based urologist Professor Frank Sommer told the Daily Telegraph; “A substance like that could shift the balance of the sex hormones in men towards oestrogen.”

“In the long term this leads to less sexual drive, encourages the belly instead of the muscles to grow and has a bad effect on erection and potency.” he continued.

Encourages the belly eh? So next time the missus wants a Saturday afternoon at the mall just tell that the till receipts will make her fat.

Filipina girls

Seymour Totti — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 15:53:45 +0000

Click me, see me suck and fuck

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I get asked a lot about Filipina girls. They are particularly popular because they have the best command of English of all the girls in Asia.

But I don’t get over to the Philippines very often. It’s a shame really because it’s a lovely country with some really hot babes. But I don’t have much patience with Manila, the country’s capital. It’s an ugly city, awful to try and get around in and there’s bugger all to do in the daytime other than go and look at Imelda’s shoe collection.

But I am still able to get a Filipina fix when I need one. There are plenty of them working out of bars in Hong Kong.

Where to find Filipinas in Hong Kong

These girls have time for you

Seymour Totti — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 14:59:46 +0000

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Bijin-Tokei is Japanese for beautiful clock. It features pictures of pretty Japanese girls holding up the time. The picture changes every minute though it is not always a new girl every minute. And they do have their clothes on I’m afraid.

There are numerous versions of it for the iPhone which have been hugely popular in Japan. But now Mac users can get it as a dashboard widget and folks who use iGoogle can add one to their page as a gadget. And you can even customise a version as to add to your blog although the sizing can be a bit flakey.

The only problem is that sometimes they have a trashy advert when you mouseover but if you click on the first two words you can go to the web version of the clock for a slightly larger version of the pic.

A dozen more smooth slits

Seymour Totti — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 11:21:54 +0000

Click-a-clit to see twelve more pussies

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So popular was the little gallery that for I made The Art of the Japanese shaved pussy that I decided to make another one.

They are all so edible whether they be schoolgirls, nurses, maids or whatever. Starting at her butt, I like to run the tip of my tongue along the groove giving her clitoris a gentle nibble at the end. It’s nice with chocolate sauce too.

See the previous dozen
See also: 101 shaved Asian pussies you must fuck before you die

A lesson they wont forget

Seymour Totti — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 15:37:02 +0000

Dr Anri Suzuki wants to compensate

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Dr Anri Suzuki, from Tokyo, is an expert in Sino-Japanese history specialising in the Japanese invasion of China in 1937. But the 24-year old feels deeply ashamed of what her countrymen did back then and wants to offer a symbolic compensation.

“I want to cure the wounds of China with my body, and I offer to do this by having sex with Chinese students in Japan,” she told metro.co.uk.

Dr Suzuki, I do realise that I am not Chinese but I have suffered nothing but grief ever since I learned about the terrible events of 1937 in school. I would like nothing better than to find closure, to put those events behind me and I believe you could help. I will be arriving in Tokyo on Tuesday.

Chinese farmer fails to appreciate art

Seymour Totti — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 10:18:24 +0000

Chinese beauty spot Pinpi Poon. Click for sight seeing.

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A bunch of art students were taking pictures of a local beauty at a local beauty spot in Zhengzhou, eastern China. All of a sudden angry farmer and landowner, Hu Wen, comes galloping onto the scene waving a large stick and chases them all away.

“It wasn’t just the students,” he complained. “We get a lot of tourists walking through the valley and they had all stopped too and were snapping away with their cameras and phones.”

Farmer Wen waggles his stick.

He told Britain’s Metro that he didn’t want those kinds of perverts on his land, that the students should be drawing or painting and not taking obscene pictures. He also said he didn’t hit the naked lady, instead he helped her back into her clothes and gave her a lecture on morality.

I bet it helped his bamboo grow though, don’t you?

Vuvuzela and other tricks

Seymour Totti — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 13:56:04 +0000

Click the pic to see my pussy

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.Yes, I always read it as vulvazela too. I don’t think we’re alone. By now anyone watching the world cup is probably sick to death of the sound of the damn things. But they don’t have to be used this way.

There is a slightly smaller but strikingly similar instrument that gets played in bars around Bangkok, and no doubt Pattaya and Phuket as well, every night. It is part of the infamous Pussy Show. The girls usually lay on their backs on the stage and blow these plastic horns through their lovely little cunts.

That, of course, is only one of the tricks that the dextrous damsels can execute. There are at least a couple of dozen tricks the girls do. Some of them, such as pussy blowing out candle, can get a bit tedious. And pussy smoking is not really very attractive to a non-smoker. But I shall cherish the look of alarm I saw on one Australian gentleman’s face as he observed pussy removing beer bottle top. “Can all the girls do that?” he yelped, obviously fearing for his own top.

In fact not all girls can do it. Some of the tricks take a considerable amount of training and those that involve needles and razor blades could be very nasty in the event of a slight mistake.

A while back I took one of these pussy show girls home. I’d asked if she could bring some balloons and darts and other props. I’ll give you a bonus, I promised. “Can not,” she said, “me get sack if mamma-san finds out.” But she was happy to straddle me and demonstrate. “Have strong pussy … see!” she said giving my cock a delicious squeeze.

It was at that point she spied a large bunch of bananas on the table. They were the small sweet ones but they had only just turned yellow. “Good” she said, not too yellow yet. Get down here.” She motioned me to lay on the floor. She herself crouched leaning backwards on the sofa and tried to fire bananas the length of my body and into my mouth.

We got through the whole bunch of bananas but she did score her goal.

See also: Show time at the Long Gun

A change of pace

Seymour Totti — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 03:28:55 +0000

Click pic for pussy shots

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It was very nice having all my holistic needs ministered to by the lovely Santi and the little spot we’d found in the north of Bali was idyllic … but quite frankly I was getting bored. Santi had mentioned her family in Sumba a couple of times. I was beginning to think it was time to get back to the city before she started telling me what a lovely place Sumba is, and how much I’d like it there.

I have no doubt I would love it there, excellent surfing too, I’m told. But not if the sole reason for going was to get myself introduced to someones parents. The world cup is looming and it made sense for me to head up to Hong Kong for a while. Besides I fancied a change of pace and pussy.

So I spent Friday touching base with contacts and acquaintances and now I’m looking forward to a week of tight Chinese student pussies before the tournament begins. But first I’m going to allow myself to be savaged in a no holds barred encounter with a local career hooker called JoJo. She’s no spring chicken but she really enjoys her job. And after ten days of near marital bliss I long to feel dirty and abused … in the best possible way, of course.

Celebrities, fuck ‘em!

Seymour Totti — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 15:38:31 +0000

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I know a lot of you guys would like to fuck the odd one or two but to be honest I never really got it. I’ve never understood the obsession with celebrities. Sure some of them are hot and I certainly wouldn’t walk away if say, Britney Spears wanted to stick her pussy in my face. But it’s never going to happen so I never think about it.

Yeah I know, its just a bit of fantasy. I have nothing against that I have some pretty good ones myself. Just not with celebrities. There’s no shortage of equally cute girls walking around town on any day of the week. There’s one who works in the bank I use. She has a gorgeous smile; “Good morning Mr Totti” she says as I walk up to the counter, “how are you today?”

I want to tell her I’ve got a whopping hard on and it’s all because of her but I never do, it’s not the kind of thing you say in a bank. I’ve only ever seen the top half of her, she could have wheels for all I know. But I have imagined the bottom half and I can tell you it’s much better that Britney’s.

Now I have no illusions, there’s really no more likelihood that I’ll ever get between the sheets with this girl than there is with any of the popular celebs. But I have met and interacted with the object of my fantasy, and she doesn’t pollute the airwaves with dreadful caterwauling.

I suppose for some guys the desire is for something that is out of reach and forbidden. To dream the impossible orgasm. For me there is just the tiniest, flimsiest of possibilities that she could walk of of that bank and into this Starbucks.

A hard life

Seymour Totti — Sun, 30 May 2010 06:33:03 +0000

Click pic for tits and pussy

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Well the curfew in Bangkok has been lifted but it came too late for me. I winged over to Bali instead. Much like the rest of the world it seems. Visitor arrivals are up almost 20% in Bali which means Kuta is heaving. The Balinese are happy, they haven’t had it so good since the infamous bombing.

But Kuta does get a bit tedious after a while so I headed up to the north and found a place with a lovely garden to while away a few days. The charming little takeaway I brought with me has already perfected the art of making herself scarce when I sit down to read or write. Re-appearing only at lunchtime with a tray of goodies and an impish grin.

Following an early afternoon fuck and a nap we take a stroll in the rice fields as the sun goes down. Then a soapy slippery shower before dinner. After that a nice massage and a … look there’s bugger all else to do around here.

See also: Paddy’s Bar
See also: Anything to declare

Lavinia Chan

Seymour Totti — Tue, 25 May 2010 01:05:49 +0000

Click the pic to see the pussy shots

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Good news for all you Met-art fans. They have finally come up with a new Asian model or at least a gallery that I’ve not seen before. Her name is Lavinia Chan, a pretty looking girl, slim and with a gorgeous soft looking bush that you’d love to bury your face in.

Of course she’s been pimped up by the make-up folks and she’s been shot in arty pastel tones. But behind all that she reminds me of the student girls that slink down to Hong Kong from mainland China to hook for a couple weeks on a short stay visa.

Pope prophylactics

Seymour Totti — Mon, 24 May 2010 01:51:02 +0000

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Dutch sex shop De Condoomfabriek (The Condom Factory) has launched “Pope Condoms” to make a point about sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies and the Vatican’s opposition to contraceptives.

The wrapper shows an image of a papal figure that looks rather like Ratzy, though the face is removed, and a text that reads “I SAID NO! We say YES!” framing the image.

I can understand the Vatican’s point to a degree, after all choir boys don’t get pregnant. But there are plenty of people out there who like to role play. I think Popedoms are a grand idea and I sincerely hope that Condoomfabriek will follow up with the launch of some naughty nun habits with hot pink trim, a rubber mitre and a vibrating Pope stick.

Watching from the bar

Seymour Totti — Sun, 23 May 2010 04:06:48 +0000

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There has been a curfew in Bangkok over the entire weekend. I decided there wasn’t much point in going up there but I did call a few bargirl friends to see how things were. Some had chosen to just hibernate through it while others had gone back up country to see families.

They all felt a rather sad and subdued. Those that work in Nana Plaza were there right until the last evening. Patpong, which was just a stones throw from the barricades, had closed down some days before.

It’s a funny thing, the mainstream media tells the world that Thaksin has huge support in the north-east of Thailand. That’s true, he does, largely because of his cash handouts. But they never mention that most of the country’s bargirls also come from the north-east and I’ve met very few of them who have any liking for the guy.

It was Thaksin that enforced the two o’clock closing time law which shaved a couple of the more lucrative hours off their workday. And between them bargirls do far more to alleviate poverty and provide education for the region’s children than anything any politician has ever done.

One girl who runs a small bar/restaurant on Sukhumvit spoke for many; “I work hard every day, I send all my money back every month. Now cannot! No have customer, no have money!”

Hanging around

Seymour Totti — Mon, 17 May 2010 11:55:26 +0000

	I was away for a while doing proper work. Not much in the way of smut or lascivious behaviour for the last couple of weeks, it’s frowned upon in those parts. I was rather looking forward to getting back to Bangkok and taking my frustrations out on some warm bodies and cold beers but with the threat of curfew it seemed a bit pointless. Anyway, I’m holed up in Singapore at the moment. Plenty of fun to be had here of course. Probably more microbreweries per capita than anywhere else on earth, prostitution is legal (in designated zones) and the discos in the Four Floors of Whores are throbbing. But it does tend to make the old credit card scream for mercy after a few days though so I’ll probably mosey off somewhere else.

See also: Not so shy Amateur
See also: My first porn shoot
See also: iPorn

Lickie dickie willie wipes

Seymour Totti — Sat, 01 May 2010 09:13:06 +0000

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Some girls are messy eaters, it’s true. They can also make a lot of noise. The noise is quite popular in some quarters, I’ve heard guys say that they get really turned on by an enthusiastic slurping sound.

It makes me giggle. But since I don’t want to appear rude I try to suppress it. But the tremors still ripple through my body. This leads the girl to think I am about to cum so she redoubles her effort which makes me giggle more.

But I digress. For the dribblers salvation is at hand. Now we must be quite fair, cocks can’t be the easiest of things to get in your mouth. It’s also correct to say that, if all goes according to plan, the cock will be contributing more than it’s fair share to the mess.

That’s why the Lickie Dickie is the latest must have accessory for every bedside table. The Lickie Dickie is a strawberry scented, individually wrapped, tissue with a hole in the middle.

Stick your dick through the hole and whoever is gets on the other end will no longer get pubes stuck between their teeth. They will also have somewhere to wipe their chin and spit out your share of the mess, if they are not inclined to swallow, without have to go rummaging under the bed to find the toilet roll that must have fallen there ten minutes earlier.

The Lickie Dickie is available in packs of three, twelve and twenty-four

What’s sauce for the goose

Seymour Totti — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 11:32:54 +0000

Hot English babe, all tarted up and frilly. Cover your keyboard and click!

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Sales of saucy undies are booming in Britain and, according to retail chain Debenhams, it is women in their 40s and 50s that are doing the buying. Encouraged by TV shows such as Sex and the City 2 and Cougar Town, older women are rediscovering their bodies, often after having children or getting divorced.

“Positive female role models in this age group such as the women in the Sex and the City movies and Courtney Cox in TV’s Cougar Town are giving the women confidence to splash out on themselves,” Debenhams head lingerie buyer Annette Warburton told Reuters.

Positive role models eh? Now when a 50-year-old geezer chases after a hot looking babe half his age he’s called a dirty old man, a pervert and told that he should be ashamed of himself.

Now I think it’s great that women are reclaiming their sexuality and enjoying themselves, I really do. But I think is a bit crap that they get called role models because they buy cosmetics and cami knickers and men get called sad old gits because they don’t.

Pictures: A Thai cougar
More pics: Asian milfs
Site review: Mature Asia

Have sex, stay healthy

Seymour Totti — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 12:03:41 +0000

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According to Brazil’s Health Minister, Jose Gomes Temporao “.. Adults need to do exercise: walk, dance and have safe sex.” he dispensed the advice at the launched of a campaign to fight high blood pressure.

“It’s not a joke.” he continued “It’s serious. Having regular physical exercises also means sex, always with protection of course.

“Dancing, having sex, keeping weight under control, changing dietary habits, doing physical exercise” all help keep blood pressure down,” he said.

Sexercise, It’s a manifesto that I, and probably most of the male population of Brazil, would certainly vote for. I like Brazilian girls (ok, ok I like all girls)

Which reminds me, I’ve not been over to Macau for donkeys years. The former Portuguese enclave use to be a good spot for finding Brazilian ladies. The place has changed now, I think it’s time I took a trip.

MET China

Seymour Totti — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 14:07:43 +0000

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I’m often asked to post more pics of Met-Art Asians. I would if I could. Met do have some Asians on their site but I haven’t seen any new ones for some time now. But the other day a gentleman in Germany sent me a few pics from a site that he called MET China. He wondered if I knew anything about them.

Actually I knew nothing about them at all but there is a site at metcn.com. It’s all in Chinese but you can use Google Chrome or some other translation service to turn it into something resembling English

It appears to be the work of one photographer, Zhang Xiao Yu, who is not connected to Met-Art. He calls his site MetCN so it is easy to see how some people might think they are connected. His pictures are also very much in the Met style and one of them was a whopping, Met-sized 3000×1700 pixels.

Unfortunately joining his site seems to be a bit of a palaver. Get your favourite translator and see this page for instructions. If you are up for the adventure it looks like you will be well rewarded.

Judging from what was sent to me it seems the poor fellows work is enthusiastically pirated by his compatriots so you could always trawl the search engines for other pics. To be honest I don’t have the patience for that sort of thing.

See: Met-Art’s Abby Chan
More: Met-art Asians

Gloomy faces in the Land of Smiles

Seymour Totti — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 00:26:07 +0000

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The girls were all looking pretty glum. They were playing bar games amongst themselves to help pass the time. I thought you were supposed to play that with customers I said as I sat down.

“No have customers.” Said one, “Only you” said another. Must be low season I replied. “Low season for whole year” quipped a third.

It’s true tourism to Thailand is way down. I’d been here at the tail end of 2008 when protesters had shut the airport down leaving tens of thousands of tourists stranded. Continued political uncertainty has kept them away this year and the few that are coming are giving Bangkok a wide berth.

Back then it had been the yellow shirts demanding a change of government. If you’ve been following the events you’ll no doubt be aware that this time it is the red shirts. All the taxi drivers are red-shirts, hop into a cab and you’ll find the radio tuned to a live broadcast of the events. It also helps them to avoid the traffic snarl-ups that are caused by them.

Otherwise in Bangkok it’s business as usual. There is little evidence of the struggle that’s going on. I avoid areas where the demonstrations are taking place because if I want to get from A to B it is simply quicker to go around them.

But there is no danger to foreigners. It is purely between the yellows and the reds and apart from the occasional traffic snarl-up visitors are still able to enjoy the city. In fact there is probably no better time to be here. Hotels are so starved of business that they are offering some excellent deals and discounts, particularly at the four and five star end of the scale.

In the bars too, with so little competition from other customers and the girls glad of whatever business they can get, its a perfect opportunity to get yourself well and truly pampered. I finished my beer and paid the bar-fine … for all three of them. Heh, that made them smile.

Porno for the blind

Seymour Totti — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 22:41:30 +0000

Read my bumps

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A new book of erotica using braille and tactile graphics gad been published by Lisa Murphy. It is called Tactile Mind and is a handmade thermoform book featuring 17 tactile photographs on white thermoform plastic pages with the visual image and a braille description.

The images include pussy close ups, both naked men and women and even cosplay with women dressed as pink elephants and men dressed as rabbits.

Each book is numbered and signed by the author. It costs Canadian $225 though the pictures can also be purchased individually

Tactile Mind
by Lisa J. Murphy
ISBN: 978-0-9813431-0-5

Visit: Tactile Mind website

Better or worse

Seymour Totti — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 23:45:46 +0000

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I was hardly through the curtain when Mai came bouncing up to me, “How are yoooo,” she said, and without pausing for breath; “You know Arex?” I’d never seen Alex before in my life I told her.

“You remember Poom?” She continued. Poom I did remember, she’d left a few months ago to have a boob job and to get married.

I’d been quite appalled at the idea of her getting a boob job. I thought her tits were gorgeous as they were, I had intimate knowledge of them. Poom wasn’t a dancing girl she was just a waitress. Never-the less she had been very popular and made quite a lot of money.

She would sometimes come around to my place, when I was in town, for lunch and a romp. Afterwards she would fall asleep and I would work. From my desk I could see through the bedroom door to her naked body on the bed. Curled up in a pool of sunlight while the breeze from a fan played with her hair. Yes, I remembered Poom with a great deal of affection.

“Arex is new husband of Poom,” said Mai continuing her introduction.
“Well, well,” I said to him, “you’re the lucky bastard that got her. She’s a lovely girl …” I resisted the temptation to add “… and a great fuck.” Besides Poom herself had just back from powdering her nose and I also had to resist the temptation of squeezing the bum that I knew so well.

I bought a round of drinks but I didn’t get to talk to Alex much. Sensing a party a buch of other girls came over to say hello. Alas I’d only stopped by for a quick one. He was a chef from England but whether he plans to stay here in Bangkok or take his new bride back to the UK I don’t know. Still, he seemed like a decent bloke and I wish them the best.

Not so shy girl

Seymour Totti — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 16:45:37 +0000

Click the pic to see Noi get her panties off

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My cleaning ladyboy turned up the other morning breathless with excitement. Did I want another girl to photograph, he wanted to know. Sure, I said, why ever not?

But try to get here a little earlier this time, I told him. I might as well have saved my breath. Admittedly it wasn’t their fault but they actually arrived considerably later than previously on account of having to navigate around a sea of protesters.

She was cute though. Her name was Noi, 24-years old and works as a seamstress. She was also very shy but she did have a lovely, cheeky grin. There was not much light left in the sky so I figured I’d shoot for a short while for the sake of good manners then see if she was amenable to a jolly good fucking.

She was. In fact she was expecting it and I didn’t even need to ask. Within just a few minutes her shyness had evaporated and she spent most of the shoot checking to see if I had a stiffy yet. Of course it didn’t take long and as soon as I had one she wanted to see it. “I never see farang before” she giggled.

After she’d left the cleaner came back with an accusing look on his face. “Noi say she like this job veeeerrrry much.” I’m not surprised I told him, she just earned as much in two-hours as she earns in two weeks at the factory.

See pictures of Noi
See also: My first porn shoot

Load to Joysa

Seymour Totti — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 13:50:40 +0000

	Joysa here is not a student, she just likes dressing up as one … and then undressing again. She likes to do this best if there is a horny guy present. She gets wet just thinking about it. She likes stripping off on the internet because there are thousands of horny guys all tugging their rope and thinking about the tightness of her shaved pussy. She knows her pusssy is tight because she sticks her fingers in it while she thinks about all those guys jerking off.

See: lots more Little Brown Fucking Machines
See also: Filipna Sherylie
and some shaved Chinese pussies

Ravishing robots

Seymour Totti — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 13:42:44 +0000

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Japanese boffin Hiroshi Ishiguro has unveiled a cute looking robot that can mimic human expressions such as laughing and smiling. Proffessor Ishiguro and his team developed the android with Japan’s robot maker Kokoro at Osaka University.

The robot is called Geminoid TMF and can smile, frown and grin. It was modeled on a young Japanese woman, who afterwards said, “I felt like I had a twin sister.” But as yet only one of them could give you an effective blow-job.

The developers expect the robot could one day used in real-life situations, such as in hospitals. But there are other situations that spring to mind. It was only back in January that we met True Companion’s Roxxxy who was the brainchild of Douglas Hines.

I think Doug and Hiroshi should pool their considerable brain-power. Roxxxy may be a goer but she isn’t a looker. Geminoid seems to have that licked, and with a little more research …

See pictures of Roxxxy in action

The art of the Japanese shaved pussy

Seymour Totti — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 15:43:47 +0000

Click now! More pussy inside

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And they are an art all to themselves, I can stare at them for hours on end. Oh I know there are lovely smooth slits all over the world but the Japanese have a way of making them look just a little bit more delicious.

It’s only recently that we’ve been able to enjoy looking at Japanese pussies like this, and if you are in Japan you still can’t look at them legally. Porn has a long history in Japan but during World War 2 it was banned so as not to distract the military.

When the Americans re-wrote the constitution, after the war, they neglected to re-write that particular law. The upshot that genitals were always airbrushed or pixelated.

Click here to see a dozen smooth slits

Tch, you can’t take him anywhere

Seymour Totti — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 14:58:16 +0000

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I was out for dinner with a bunch of colleagues the other night. It was a large and lively place specialising in the cuisines of the Silk Road. Now that was a long road that went pretty well from Istanbul, in Turkey, to Peking, on the far side of China. With numerous branches through Persia and Tibet, up to Kazakhstan, across the Himalayas and down into India.

I figured it would be interesting to try and fuck my way along it one day though I do suspect it would be a task easier fantasised about than actually achieving.

But I digress, the menu did an admirable job of representing the various cuisines. The entertainment, not quite as varied but still equally breathtaking, featured an attractive Chinese girl clad in wisps of green silk belly dancing amongst the tables. Fortunately the restaurant is in the tourist belt and everyone was happily snapping so I stuck my own lecherous lens briefly into the throng.

The waitresses costumes were rather baggy affairs of loose fitting trousers and shirts with a short sleeveless jacket type thing over the top. The kind of outfit that normally wouldn’t attract a second glance … normally. The one that was attending our table was being worn by a petite local Hong Kong girl with cheeky eyes and a bottom that refused go unnoticed.

All of the waitresses wore a waistband that was made from what looked like old coins or metal discs. In most cases it jingled with a rather military ching … ching … ching as they walked. Our waitress walked with an altogether more seductive beat. I could hear her coming from across the restaurant and it took tremendous force of will to concentrate on the polite conversation at table instead of turning to watch every time she approached.

I wondered if she knew she had a different beat, I wondered if the other people at the table had noticed. They weren’t the kind of people I could mention it to … so I didn’t. But here’s a picture of the belly dancer anyway

Pushing the boundary in Bollywood

Seymour Totti — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 15:15:38 +0000

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One of the latest movies out of Bollywood, Love Sex aur Dhokha” (Love Sex and Betrayal), is challenging the familiar formula of song-and-dance routines and violent revenges.

The movie uses unconventional cameras including spy cams and security cameras to follow three story-lines involving a student, a shop manager and a rock star. It explores the lack of privacy and changing attitudes in the modern world.

Opening in Cinemas last week the film also exploring the changing attitude of India’s censors with with blurry visuals of a naked woman and voyeuristic sequences in the trailers. A lengthy sex scene didn’t escape the boards scissors.

It also gives me a great excuse to show you these pics of Penelope.

Nanako gets her knickers off

Seymour Totti — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 06:09:57 +0000


	I know you guys love shaved Japanese pussies and I agree, they really are quite edible. But I decided that you’d probably want to see these pictures of Nanako anyway. After all, variety is the spice of life. I don’t think anyone would push her out of bed just because she has a hairy pussy. Would you? Click the thumbnails!

There are loads more pictures of adorable Nanako HERE

See: Lots more uncensored Japanese models

Hot Love

Seymour Totti — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 14:49:13 +0000

Click his ass to see naked ladyboys

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A naked man was forced onto a window ledge after a brothel featuring transexuals in Basel, Switzerland, caught fire. The 33-year old man is recovering in hospital.

It is not known if it is from burns that he is recovering or from the embarrassment of having a picture of himself clinging to the ledge published in in the Swiss daily Blick last Tuesday and subsequently all over the internet. The story carried a quote by Markus Melzl from the Basel prosecutor’s office as saying the apartment was used for the sex business.

See also: Am I Gay

Mating dance

Seymour Totti — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:11:23 +0000

Click to see her naked

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A group of masked women in Guanhgzhou, China stripped down to their bras and panties and danced outside a subway station in the hope of attracting husbands. According to the Guangzhou Daily they were handing out slips of paper with their personal details and info about the kind of man they would like to marry.

The ‘Crazy Beauties’, as they called themselves, said they had deliberately timed the event to coincide with International Women’s Day.

Xing Zi, the organiser of the show, said: “We planned this to stand as a declaration. This is to prove we have enough confidence and determination.”

Dancer, Xiao Xuan, explained: “We think we are beauties, but we can’t find our Mr Rights. Our age is close to 30, so we have to do something.” Apparently the girls are under intense pressure from their families to tie the know.

I’d marry them all, wouldn’t you?

My first porn shoot

Seymour Totti — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 10:56:37 +0000

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I shot my first nudey pictures the other day. It was the cleaning ladyboy that suggested it. He’s only seen my travel pictures before because that’s mostly what I do. Never-the-less he had faith in me.

He also had a girl who was keen to do some modelling. What kind of girl I asked. “A real girl!” he pouted and sashayed off to the kitchen. It wasn’t really what I’d meant. I’d wanted to know if she was a bargirl or student or whatever. “She just a friend, I think you make very nice photo her.” He said. Is she over eighteen, I asked. “Oh yes, I think so.” he giggled. I told him set up a time.

I have shot the occasional girlfriend in the past but those instances were never more than half a dozen snaps as a prelude to fucking. I had learned enough from those sessions, though, to know that lighting was going to be a bit tricky. All I had at my disposal was a cantankerous old mono-light and brolly.

I did have plenty of sunlight but at 2.30 in the afternoon, when the appointment was set, that is more of a curse than a blessing. Still, I wasn’t about to let it put me off, I was rather warming to the idea.

They arrived at the appointed time. Milf, I thought as she walked through the door. Hotter than Hades but a milf none-the-less. But was she really? Her name was May. She told me she worked in a factory making leather bags, she had no children and had never even been married. She was 29 years-old. In a country where so many girls are mothers before their 20th birthday this was a rare thing indeed.

Could it be that I was alone in my apartment with one of the most rare and exotic beasts that ever lurked on the dappled fringes of mans fantasies? Was this a horny Thai woman on the cusp of cougar-hood that was about to take all her clothes off?

The shoot progressed quite well. We were both a bit stiff to start with, though not in the same way. But it didn’t take long for her to relax and to start enjoying herself.

Play with your pussy, I told her, forget about me - see if you can make yourself cum. “Cannot.” she said. Why, when did you last cum. “Mmm two days ago.” Boyfriend? “No, have toy. No have boyfriend.”

I shot a bunch of close-ups from the end of the bed but by this time the sun was streaming through the window at such an angle that it became impossible to do much more. Enough! I declared.

I’d always known shooting porn wouldn’t be easy but it was satisfying. I put the camera on the floor and propped myself up on my elbows between her knees and watched while she continued to play with herself. Feel good? I asked. “Mmmm.”

Are you gonna cum? “Mm… maybe..,” She paused for a moment, “… but you have to help.”

You can see some of the pictures by clicking here or on the the pics above.

Free pics of: Asian milfs
Site review: Mature Asia

Bom Bom from Met

Seymour Totti — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 14:25:48 +0000

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I haven’t seen any new Asians from Met-Art for a long time now. Now much as I admire the Met models and the photographers that capture them so beautifully I firmly believe that variety is the spice of life. So come on chaps get on the plane and show us a little eastern intrigue.

In the meantime here is a gallery of Bom Bom. I haven’t the faintest idea where she comes from but she does have a very nice smile.

See: Met-Art’s Abby Chan
More: Met-art Asians
See also: Awsome colours
See also: Five naked girls
See also: The Spice of Life
See also: Porn without borders

Sisters of mercy

Seymour Totti — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 15:17:07 +0000

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Occasionally I get asked if I ever miss the fulfilment of a long-term relationship and the comfort of a stable home. And the answer is always no, not in the slightest. I tried the relationship thing, they’re great at the beginning but eventually I always feel manipulated and taken for granted.

Some people do find their soul mates and that’s great for them but I think the closest thing I ever found to soul mates were two women who picked me up after one of my wrecked relationships and put me back on the rails.

Sally and Fae ran a small company. I’d tried to chat up Sally in a pub one Friday night. The chat-up didn’t go quite as planned. I found myself getting interviewed as a potential freelancer that she could do business with at a later date rather doing the business with later that night.

A few days later she introduced me to Fae and I did business and the business with her first. It was a couple of weeks later, after a liquid lunch, that Sally finally asked if she could come and see my etchings. I asked her if she was sure. “Absolutely,” she replied, “Fae has told me all about them.”

The idea of an open relationship was never specifically defined, it was left to settle gently. The honesty was a bit of a shock at first but it wasn’t long before it felt perfectly natural. Over the next couple of years we all remained good friends with work-lives and sex-lives happily overlapping.

They never invaded my life, never bought me shirts, never invited me to meet the parents and never expected me to spend my Saturday afternoons trudging round shops looking at shoes. They were happy with me just as I was and because of that I felt a deeper affection for them.

Nor was there ever a hint of jealousy. Though we frequently had dinners and drinks together we never did have sex as a threesome. “You wouldn’t expect that of sisters now would?” quipped Sally the only time I floated the idea.

Sisters? I looked at her long, blonde Nordic form stretched out on the bed an then thought of Fae, who was a delicious tropical mix with the African genes getting a slightly upper hand, and decided not to pursue that line any further. This was already fantasy enough … for now.

The pictures want to click with you

Playing away

Seymour Totti — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 14:06:48 +0000

	. Girls from the Philippines are popular everywhere. This is because, gorgeous though they are, they usually speak English well. As a result you’ll find Filipinas working all over Asia. But it is good to catch them on their home turf.

Shrink rap

Seymour Totti — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 00:00:58 +0000

Click the pic and pull the pudding

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Looks like I’m going to be suffering from Hypersexual Disorder by the year 2013. Hypersexual disorder is essentially enjoying frequent sexual activity with lots of different people, or at least wanting to.

I don’t suffer from it yet because the book in which it is going to be defined, The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders - which apparently is the dogs bollocks of psychiatric reference books - isn’t going to be updated until then.

Those of you that think I’m already sick (yes, I got your e-mails) needn’t laugh either. You are going to be classified as suffering from Absexuality Disorder along with everyone else that gets a secret thrill out of being disgusted by porn and obscenity.

I would reply to your missives but I can’t be bothered. According to the new book that means I also suffer from cognitive tempo disorder.

And there are plenty more; Intermittent explosive disorder means having a hissy fit and sexual arousal disorder is the new term for “Not tonight dear, I have a headache.”

Speaking to The Times Online, Darrel Regier, research director of the American Psychiatric Association and a member of the task force working on the manual, said: “One of the reasons for doing this is that we are concerned about establishing better thresholds of diagnosis for people with a genuine disorder.”

I think he’s suffering from Elevated Importance of Quackery Syndrome which is; expanding the market by inventing new conditions to diagnose and prescribe for.

Click the pic to see some photos of Japanese nurse Nana Takesita who, I might add, has a perfectly edible shaved pussy. Better do it quick, pretty soon they’ll be coming after you with straight jackets and bromide tea.

Happy Chinese New Year

Seymour Totti — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 09:25:51 +0000

Hung Hei Fat Choi! That’s the Cantonese greeting, it means “Happy and prosperous new year”.

This year it falls on Valentine’s day so I would imagine the high street shops and restaurants will loose out a bit.

In Hong Kong it’s wet, cold and miserable. I’m miserable too because all my favourite girls have buggered off back to the mainland to be with families for what they call the Spring Festival over there. Most of them will be gone for two weeks, some wont even come back.

But we’ve got plenty of porn to keep us going. Here’s a bunch of hot Chinese pussy to make your heart beat and help usher in the year of the tiger. We’ve got shaved, hairy and pissing because variety is the spice of life.

Same, same but no different

Seymour Totti — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 13:23:00 +0000

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Durex have been promoting new Featherlite Elite Ultima a lot recently. How are these different from garden variety Featherlite Ultima I wondered. After their last re-pimping effort I was a tad suspicious. So I called up Ellie and put the matter to her. “Exactly the same,” she said, “just a new box. Bring a pack of each anyway and we’ll compare”

Ellie is a young lady from Shanghai who I’ve been seeing recently. Her clients are ususally businessmen and financial types from around Asia which normally would put her out of my league but she says; “I like to speak English with you and I like big, fat English sausages. I give you good discount.”

I picked up the condoms on the way over to her place. The foil wrapping on the individual pieces confirmed what she had said. Never-the-less she took one away and stretched it, sniffed it, poked it and filled it with water while I took pictures of the boxes. Afterwards she put me on the bed, deftly slipped one onto me and clambered on top. “That’s the old one” she said, giving me a delicious wiggle. Then she jumped off, changed it and repeated the process; “See, just the same.”

Keep doing that circular wiggly thing, I told her, I just want to be sure.

See also: Condom wars

A good face for memories

Seymour Totti — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 14:35:58 +0000

It’s funny how random memories drift into your mind. Some years ago, after business trip to Osaka, I’d taken the train over to Kyoto.

The plan was to get up early and do some sight-seeing before going on to Tokyo.

I stayed at a traditional Ryokan. Checked in late but I was served a meal by the daughter who came by after and asked if I would like to talk. She was about 20 and wrapped in a kimono, I couldn’t really see her figure except that it was slim. But she had a very pretty face.

After an hour or so she got up and said goodnight. Her body left but her face stayed with me most of the night. I had to imagine the rest. In the morning she was leaving for college just as I set out. “I hope you stay with us next time you come to Kyoto,” she smiled.

Some Japanese hardcore galleries

Seymour Totti — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 06:27:27 +0000

Tsubomi

Kanako Aso

Maria Ozawa

Juri Matsuzaka

Hinayo Motoki

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Since I know how much you guys like Japanese girls I have assembled a bumper crop of Japanese girls being delightfully disgraceful. We have a mix of picture and movie galleries, just click on the thumbs and .. well I guess you know the routine.

And if they are not enough for you check out these links to previous posts

See also: Eri Omochika’s Pussy
Site Review: Mumo Sengen/G-Queen

A big swinging dick by any other name

Seymour Totti — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 03:32:31 +0000

My Zeb is bigger than your Zeb. Click it to lick it.

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Akbar Zeb is a high flying diplomat from Pakistan. He has served as the country’s High Commissioner to Canada and as their ambassador to South Africa. But he has been rejected for diplomatic positions the United Arab Emirates, Bahrain and, most recenlty, Saudi Arabia.

The reason for this is because Akbar Zeb, in a splendid case of life imitates Monty Python, translates as ‘Biggest Dick’ in Arabic. Now you can’t have him swanning around in diplomatic circles, introducing himself as Biggest Dick to people who probably consider themselves to be substantially bigger dicks than he is. Whatever would the serfs think.

Watch that: classic Monty Python clip

Walk on the wild side

Seymour Totti — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 16:15:32 +0000

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I was wandering around the Bangla Road area in Patong. Stopping for a beer every now and then observing the scenery. Soi Sea Dragon still seemed fairly quiet, except that when I turned into it the first girl that I passed reached out and pinched my bum.

I’d never had my bum pinched in Thailand before so it took me by a bit of a surprise. But lo and behold, before I had gone but a few more paces, it happened again. It’s not an entirely unpleasant feeling but I have to confess I did discretely check my pockets. Nothing amiss. The only thing unusual was yet another tweak at the old buttock. So I decided to stop for a beer.

What was going on I asked, why was I getting my bum pinched so often in Soi Sea Dragon when it never gets piched anywhere else? They smiled and gave me my beer but they didn’t say anything. I think it must be a Soi Sea Dragon thing because it didn’t happen anywhere else. I haven’t been back there to see if it happens again.

Tight Chinese Pussy

Seymour Totti — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 16:15:44 +0000

It comes up in pub conversation sometimes that, because Asian girls are famous for their tight pussies, is there any one nationality tighter than the rest? Of course there is no answer to that but it is usually the prelude you a round of tales, from the assembled company, about particularly nice ones we’ve known recently with regard to tightness.

I always end up talking about girls from mainland China. Not because I think they are particularly tighter than anywhere else but because they think western men are significantly bigger. Especially the part-time girls who come down to Hong Kong on short stay visa to top up their bank accounts.

These girls usually have no experience of western men other than what they’ve heard about. And that is that we all have huge cocks. So when you knock on their doors expecting admission they can react in one of two ways.

One is that they get a bit scared and worry that you are going to hurt them. I always give them plenty of opportunity to back out if they want to. It’s really no fun trying to have sex with a girl who is so worried about getting hurt she slops on so much lube that it gets inside the condom and the damn thing comes off.

The other type get really excited about having the opportunity to try out one our mythical members. One girl was so pleased that after the shower she called her two colleagues over to admire the appendage and give it a squeeze. I felt like a piece of meat. It was great.

See also: How tight is you pussy
See also: Rare China Pussy

iPorn

Seymour Totti — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 14:48:20 +0000

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Hooray for mobile phone porn! Though I must admit I’ve never used a mobile phone for looking at porn, the screen just isn’t big enough. The only time I would conceivably use it is on an airplane. But I just don’t recall the last time I was on a flight long enough to necessitate skulking off to the toilet with a Blackberry for a swift right-hander.

But I do take my hat off to all the wonderful people that produce it and the technology that permits it. I’ve had a soft spot for totally amateur porn ever since the days I used to search (in vain) for pictures of Charlie Paget’s mum in the Readers Wives section of Fiesta magazine.

With the launch of the iPad we now have a mobile device that offers the privacy of a phone with a screen size that would do justice to Charlie’s mother … or any other kind of porn for that matter. Though Apple seems keen to boast it’s features as an e-reader and communication device the fact that you can download up to 64 gigs of porn into it and schlepp off to the potting shed leaving the computer to the kids and the Mrs to American Idol is what will make it a winner.

I foresee a day when you’ll be able to buy iPads, or clones thereof, already pre-loaded with pics and movies and branded with a future generation’s equivalent of Fiesta or Razzle.

In the meantime, if you do find those pics of Charlie Paget’s mum, forward ‘em to me would ya.

See also: Readers Wives

A bit of rough stuff

Seymour Totti — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 14:20:03 +0000

. . I had an e-mail the other day from a gentleman who wondered why I never post any hardcore. It was a good question. I have nothing against hardcore porn, I don’t find it particularly erotic myself but there’s plenty of folks that do. To me it is the kind of porn you watch when you mates are round for beer and pizza on a Sunday afternoon. You discuss technique and comfort levels - is that position practical in a real-life scenario and how can anyone produce that much spooge in a single orgasm? For my private enjoyment I prefer solo girls or girl-on-girl. Call me old fashioned but I have no interest in other peoples dicks especially when those dicks are fucking my fantasy girl or cumming all over her face. Never-the-less I wont have it said that I don’t listen to my readers so here are a couple of pics and a clip to get the ball rolling. I will post more in due course.

To see loads more of pics and movies of Goy and her friends getting a jolly good seeing to CLICK HERE

Thai Girls Wild

Seymour Totti — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 13:33:17 +0000

Another brand new site just launched is Thai Girls Wild … and I know a thing or two about them. The site is totally hardcore and totally amateur.

It claims to have “The biggest and hottest collection of Thai ex girlfriend videos”. It also boasts Thai emo girls … I guess that means coloured hair and tats etc, how can you be emo when you’re born in the land of smiles? But I do like coloured hair and tats, I don’t care what you call it.

I don’t have any samples yet but as soon as I do I’ll post them but if you just can’t wait click these thumbs to go direct to the site.

I don’t know about you but I am really excited this site. Heh, I’m even hoping I’ll see some of my old friends in there.

Website: Thai Girls Wild

Smooth as silk

Seymour Totti — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 14:46:13 +0000

Premier Japanese shaved pussy site Rikitake has re-launched and re-branded itself Girls Delta. All the original content is on the new site and fresh pictures and movies are being added daily. These are top quality pics with the newest ones having a resolution up to 3500px plus HD movies.

I haven’t been into the site but I hope you enjoy these selections from the public area of the site. Click the thumbnails. For more just surf on over here.

Website: Girls Delta

Psst, dirty pictures?

Seymour Totti — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 16:50:34 +0000

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The French national library, Bibliothque Nationale in Paris, is showing off some of its porn collection. More than 350 books and prints from it’s smut section, officially known as L’enfer (hell) are on display until March 2.

L’Enfer houses books that have been purchased, confiscated or donated over the past 170 years. I haven’t been to Paris but according to The Independent newspaper it is “… a quietly and intelligently displayed but garish cornucopia of sadism, masochism, bestiality, scatology, bums, tits and staring genitalia. It is also a fascinating, and sometimes beautiful, expedition through the dark, winding corridors of the human psyche.”

Until now the collection has only been open to bona fide researchers but the explosion of porn all over the internet has persuaded the library that it is OK to put it on display.

“Twenty years ago, such an exhibition would have been unthinkable, certainly one sponsored by a state body such as the Bibliothque Nationale,” Marie-Franoise Quignard, one of the two curators told newspaper.

If you’re in Paris before March 2 the L’Enfer de la Bibliotheque, Eros aus secret is open at the Bibliothque Francois Mitterrand in the 13th arrondissement from 10am to 7pm, Tuesdays to Saturdays and from 1pm to 7pm on Sundays. Under 16s are banned.

Android Love

Seymour Totti — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 10:35:37 +0000

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Life like (well almost) love dolls have been around for a while but up until now they have always been mute and static. The launch of True Companion’s Roxxxy at the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas this weekend is set to change all that.

Roxxxy comes with built-in computer and several personalities. She can hear you, speak to you and feel your touch. A mechanical heart powers a liquid cooling system and she boasts three “inputs” each with robotic movement.

The prototype is Caucasian, 5 feet 7 inches tall and weighs 120 pounds but according to its creator, Douglas Hines, clients can customise it to suit their own preferences. The on-board personalities range from Frigid Farrah to S&M Susan with Wild Wendy and Mature Martha in between. These too can be customised and tweaked by the owner.

The love doll has wireless internet connection to facilitate software updates. There is also an owners forum where people can swap and share customised personalities.

Roxxxy has been two-and-a-half years and between US$500,000 and US$1 million in the making. She retails between US$7,000-9,000 depending on customised features. If your in Asia that’s probably between 120-150 short-times and you never have to buy it a drink.

At present she is not able to walk so she can’t come and haul you out of the pub just when you are having fun and she can’t hide the TV remote when the footy is about to start. But I do wonder, however, how long it will be before the league of enraged ex-wives and girlfriends infiltrate the forum surreptitiously swapping personalities that do nothing but nag and have headaches. Let’s just hope they have an ‘off’ switch.

Website: True Companion
Youtube: Douglas Hines at AVN

Condom Wars

Seymour Totti — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 15:10:44 +0000

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Okamoto’s new line, the 0.02 Hydro, are being heavily marketed in Hong Kong. These, presumably, are the brand’s response to the Sagami Premium. They are made from polyurethane and have the same specs as the Sagami and, since those had been such a pain in the arse to get on, I had decided not to investigate further.

But then I read on Carnal Nation that a tiny dob of lube can help ease a truculent todger into a tight fitting bag. That, and the advertising on the sides of buses on the subway continually nagging at me caused, me to relent.

They come in shiny, black plastic packaging with gold print. “The real 0.02″ proclaims a red rosette stuck onto the plastic. The individual condoms in matt black wrappers. The girl I’d found to try tham out with looked at them with a critical eye. She unwrapped one and sniffed at the clear polyurethane, odourless. She nodded her approval.

Right at the beginning we had the same problem that I’d had with the Sagamoto so rather than persevere and put a fingernail through it we went for the lube option. I must admit I have grave reservations about getting lube on the inside of a condom. I’ve known some Chinese girls that like to slop the stuff on most liberally. The problem with this is that the lube works it’s way up the shaft and into the top of the condom whereupon it lubricates the condom right off again.

I squeezed out an amount about the size of a pea and lightly massaged it into the head. She had to unroll the condom part way and stretch the opening out to get it over the glans while I held the tip with one hand and the base of my cock with the other. It took all four hands but we got it on. A hit of Viagra had helped ensure the appendage didn’t go into a sulk.

She gave it a cursory blow job and indicated that it tasted alright but I think the exercise was making her quite horny too. She wanted to fuck right away so she hopped on cowgirl style. “Waaah” she said as it slipped in. She worked me for a while and then gave me the most adorable look of surprise.

She buried her face in my neck, pulled me over onto the top and clung tight, thrashing as her orgasm reached its peak. Afterwards, while she was still panting, I knew I had to pull out. She was reluctant to let me go but when I pointed out that the condom was almost off she understood. I could feel it but she couldn’t. As I withdrew it was only the tightness of the opening that had stopped it coming off completely. “Good,” she said, “but dangerous.”

To finish off I used an Okamoto 0.03 latex with aloe lubricant. Latex has much greater elasticity and is definitely more comfortable to wear. I’m not sure if the difference in feel is all that significant, I’ll do a few more A-B comparisons. I must admit I got a bit side-tracked into watching this partner enjoy her orgasm. Certainly if you’re allergic to latex this is the best of the bunch. Though having said that, now that I have a technique for getting them on, it would be worth revisiting the Sagami Premium.

Read: Carnal Nation
See also: The world’s most expensive condom
See also: Condom Vs Condom

Happy New Year

Seymour Totti — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 00:15:46 +0000

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.Let’s hope it’s a good one … my new years resolution is to get laid as much as possible. Same as last year. It’s a good resolution to make and one that I enjoy striving for. And I hope that you also get laid at every available opportunity.
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A Christmas Carol

Seymour Totti — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 01:41:02 +0000

	A girl I went to visit yesterday wore a Santa hat. Nice touch I thought. She also opened a window and let the sound of a brass band into the room. We fucked to the strains of Oh come all ye faithfull. Pure class! Natacha is dressed for boxing day.

Bah, humbug

Seymour Totti — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 14:04:50 +0000

Have a good one and may you all get what you wish for in stockings

Showtime at the Long Gun

Seymour Totti — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 15:41:07 +0000

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.She flung herself at the pole and, clinging with her right leg and both hands, spun around like a top. The toe of her left boot whizzed within inches of the head of a punter who was sitting at the stage side.

As the spin lost momentum she flipped herself over and landed, heels first, with a loud crash onto the stage floor. This was greeted with whoops and cheers from her colleagues around the bar, and blood curdling scream from Ton who had tucked herself under my right arm.

A second dancer didn’t even have the boots on anymore. Coming out of her spin she also went head over heels on the pole and planted her bare bum squarely on the head of another customer. Ton made a mental note to try that move sometime.

Most go go bars in Bangkok don’t have the space for such antics. It could be argued that the Long Gun doesn’t either but that is part of the attraction. The Long Gun is really quite a small bar so a certain amount of ‘audience participation’ is inevitable.

On an occasion when I was called upon to assist, the lovely Ton turned herself upside down between two poles. Coming out of the move she swung a leg over each of my shoulders and slid, pussy first, into my face. All I had to do was stick out my tongue for a sweet lick. I refrained, of course, for fear that she might lose concentration and crash to the floor breaking my neck along the way.

The Long Gun is one of Soi Cowboy’s oldest bars. According to Ton it currently employs about fifty dancers in total. Not all of them work the poles so spectacularly. Others do themed costume dances in which the themed costumes, such as schoolgirls and Hawaiian beach babes, are gradually removed during the course of three or four songs. There are slow and sexy lesbian routines and a selection of tricks from the infamous pussy shows that have intrigued and amused for donkeys years.

They don’t do a full complement of tricks. The show has been streamlined to fit within the context of a broader presentation. This is a good thing because some of them can get a bit tedious. But whistles, blow darts and banana torpedoes are all in evidence. “Need strong pussy,” says Ton informatively.

The blow darts are fired at balloons which are often held aloft by members of the audience.

The star of the bar is Apple. She’s a striking lady with punky, bleach-blonde hair. Unfortunately she is quite hard to catch. Ton tells me she doesn’t work every night. I went along on three consecutive nights, Thursday to Saturday, in the hope of buying her a drink and having a chat but was unlucky each time.

Even if you are not lucky enough to see Apple it is still a great show. Just remember, if you are bellying up to the stage, that you might be part of it.

See also: A gogo girl at Buffalo Bridge
See also: Paddy’s bar

Porn study goes floppy

Seymour Totti — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 16:05:32 +0000

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Scientists at the University of Montreal, Canada, had to ditch a study of pornography because they couldn’t find any men who had not watched hardcore movies before.

Their idea was to get two groups of men in their twenties to compare regular porn users with those who had never seen explicit films. The problem was, according to The Sun, they couldn’t find any blokes that had never watched hardcore porn.

“The objective of my work is to observe the impact of pornography on the sexuality of men, and how it shapes their perception of men and women.” Explained Professor Simon Louis Lajeunessesaid.

“We started our research seeking men in their twenties who had never consumed pornography but we couldn’t find any.”

So they were forced to change it to studying the habits of men who did use porn. They discovered that single men viewed porn for 40 minutes three times a week while those in relationships watch it 1.7 times a week for 20 minutes.

Do they get paid for this?

Am I gay?

Seymour Totti — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 14:41:42 +0000

Not me specifically but it’s a question I’ve been asked a few times now. The last time was a gentleman who had been to Bangkok and found the girl of his dreams only to discover that she was, in fact, a ladyboy. So besotted was he that he took the girl back to his hotel anyway and had; “the most awesome sex imaginable.”

Now back home his nights, it seems, are torn between lurid fantasies of ladyboys and fears that he might be gay.

I’ve encountered plenty of ladyboys over the years and some of them are very hot indeed but my interest has always been tempered by the knowledge that they have a penis. I have tried but I’m afraid I can find little enthusiasm for anyone’s dick but my own.

Captain Outrageous, on the other hand, is an expert. He is also a journalist who appreciates the economy of a direct question. So I put the matter to him.

Captain, are you gay?
Hah, how many times have I been asked that one? No, of course I’m not gay. Gay men are aroused by masculinity and that doesn’t do a thing for me. When I’m walking along the road or sitting on the subway I’m not looking at other men I’m looking at women who, I might add, I retain a healthy interest in. But that for me is the acid test, when you find yourself turned on by masculinity is when you can consider yourself gay.

But what could be more masculine than a penis?
The penis is a remarkable and beautiful part of the body and it is a great shame that it is more usually attached to a sweaty, ugly male. But there is a crossover point, ladyboys are not simply blokes in drag. As they move more into the ladyboy lifestyle they lose the essential mannerisms of maleness and adopt those of a female. That’s when they start to become interesting.

But nobody is really fooled into believing that a ladyboy is actually female
Don’t you believe it. I’d wager there have been times that you have ogled some girl without realising she was a ladyboy.

What you have to remember is that not all ladyboys work in the sex industry. Its not in a bargirls interest to try to hoodwink a customer into believing she’s a genetic girl. Things can turn ugly when they get back to the hotel and he discovers she’s not.

Ladyboys work in all areas of commercial life and, whilst there is no hard line between them, they can be divided into three main categories.

The first of these is the perhaps most visible. They are the boisterous girls you will find working in the cabarets, at Casanova bar in Nana Plaza, or trawling Sukhumvit Road late at night looking for customers. These tend to be the larger build girls, and sometimes they are outstandingly tall. These girls are quite obviously ladyboys and anyone attracted to this type is well aware of his own sexuality, comfortable with it and doesn’t give a hoot what anyone else thinks.

The second type are the most numerous. Most of the time you are aware that she is a ladyboy but by no means always. You’ll find her dancing in go go bars such as KC3 in Patpong. You’ll also find her working in beauty parlours, the fashion industry, design, PR, cosmetics counters and anywhere else where you could expect to find regular girls working.

They are very feminine but its their hands and voices that give them away. Their allure is quite difficult to describe. Not quite like that of a girl but definitely not that of a male. They are a third sex altogether. A female with a sexual appetite every bit as urgent as your own. People who are attracted to this type regard themselves as totally heterosexual but have a taste for adventure. They yearn for something more, something forbidden.

The last type are the least visible. This is because the changeover is almost complete and they are outwardly indistinguishable from genetic girls. They started taking hormones at a very early age, side-stepping puberty, developing natural breasts and abolishing the need to shave their chins. They rarely work the bars and if they do it only to raise enough cash for the operation. You can be attracted to this type without ever knowing she is a ladyboy.

I suppose if you are into anal they are the ideal companion then?
I’ve told you before sex with a ladyboy is explosive, you should try it yourself sometime.

Site: Captain Outrageous
Blog The Third Sex
See also: Interview with a pornographer

High as a kite

Seymour Totti — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 14:55:23 +0000

Asha has nothing to do with the story, she just looks great

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She was in tears. I don’t like making girls cry but this was beyond my control. “It’s p-p-purple” she wailed. I pointed out that it had been but now it had mostly faded to a yellowy-brown.

Then she begged me to tell her again about the flight of stairs in the Kathmandu hotel where the second from top step had snuck out from beneath me and left me to bounce down the rest. Largely on my right buttock. This was rewarded with another peal of laughter

I decided not to mention the indignity of the following morning when I’d had to squeeze said buttock, rather gingerly, into the confined quarters afforded by a 24-seat Yeti Airlines turboprop for the flight to Pokhara.

I slid down into the bubbles. She slipped in facing me pushing her thighs beneath mine and my legs around her waist lifting my bum a little off the bottom of the tub. “OK?” she asked. OK, I confirmed. She began to soap both of us all over, I closed my eyes.

Pokhara is about 20 minutes flight to the west of Kathmandu. To one side of the town is the Phewa Lake and the World Peace pagoda. To the other is the mighty Annapurna, arguably the most beautiful section of the of the whole Himalayan range.

It is possible to trek around Annapurna, you need to budget three weeks. It can be done quicker, I’m told, but it depends on the stamina of the individuals in your group and the length of time it takes to acclimatise to the altitude. I had nothing like that amount of time. I had only a few days so my plan was to fly into it.

This, of course, required me to cram my dented derrière into and even smaller aircraft. A micro-lite, owned and operated by the Avia Club of Nepal who offer Skytreks of 15, 30 and 60 minutes.

After a journey like that I wasn’t going to settle for anything less than the full monty so the following morning I presented myself at the airport where I was bound and trussed in windproof clothing in preparation for the flight.

Despite the extra padding the runway still felt like it was made of corrugated iron as we barrelled along to take-off. But all pain is forgotten, along with any apprehension about flying in a motorised hang-glider, the moment we lift off.

We bank, fly over the town and follow the Seti gorge toward the mountains. Below there is a patchwork of implausibly remote farms held together by threads of footpaths and small roads.

There is some turbulence as we pass through a thin layer of cloud but emerging through the top the view is so stunning that I almost forget to breathe. The summits of the mountains seem so close and so crystal clear it feels like we could just fly onto them. But at an altitude of about 12,000 feet we are probably not even halfway up.

The pilot cuts the engines and suddenly there is silence. We glide across the roof of the world with only our thoughts and the wind in our ears. It is a special moment indeed. To the west I can just see the summit of Dhaulagiri, where the last alleged evidence of the Yeti had been found. To the east the mountains stretched off as far as the eye could see.

Right in front is the spectacular fluted summit of Machhapuchhre or Fishtail mountain. It commands most of the attention. After what seems like only a few minutes the motor is restarted and we start the journey back flying over Sarangkot and the World Peace pagoda. My sixty minutes was up. I was so enchanted by the experience that I quite forgot to brace my buttocks for the landing.

Ouch! I said. “You OK?” asked my masseuse again. Yep, I said, just have to remember not to put all my weight onto the right side. On the bed she gave me an excellent massage, gently rubbed some tingly stuff into my bum and then took me back into the heavens for another 60 minutes.

See also: Raising the bar in Kathmandu

The measure of a man

Seymour Totti — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 09:45:08 +0000

“Now let’s see if it fits in here”

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.The Thai government is about to introduce a new penis measuring device to enable it’s male population to find the right sized condoms. The paper tape measures a width of between 49 and 56 millimetres - covering the “Thai penis size standard”, said Dr Somyos Kittimankhong of the Department of Disease Control’s (DDC) anti-Aids division.

“Larger size condoms can slip off or deaden the pleasure during sex, while smaller ones will cause discomfort to wearers. These factors dissuade people from using condoms - which encourages the spread of HIV/Aids,” Dr Somyos told The Nation newspaper.

But condoms cost money to buy and in provinces not many people have a great deal of that stuff to spare so the government has earmarked 200 million Baht (US$6 million) to give out freebies. It’s all part of a campaign called “Condom for All” and is being launched in response to a spike in the number of gay men and sex workers contracting HIV.

Now it’s all for a good cause and it doesn’t do to mock but it does make me wonder if the countryside is going to be filled with lines of farmers waiting to present their willies to efficient looking office ladies for girth checking prior to being furnished with a packet of three.

But to be serious for a moment the Thai government really should talk to some Japanese condom manufacturers about a franchise. The cheaper locally made condoms that are available at the moment are just rubbish and it’s no surprise that no-one wants to use them.

If music be the food of love

Seymour Totti — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:41:47 +0000

No hair in her g-string. Click it and see

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The Forum for Contemporary Music, an orchestra based in Leipzig, Germany, has announced that it plans to play a concert at one of the city’s brothels. The idea, apparently, is to get classical music out of the concert halls and to where the people are.

This coming Friday (November 20th) staff and customers at the Eros Centre will be treated to a series of “licentious and erotic” works which will include Le Flirt by French composer Erik Satie, Seven Erotic songs by Dirk D’Ase and Rhythm Strip - a piece for two snare drums composed by Askell Masson.

The performance comes ahead of a festival devoted to “erotic music culture” in Leipzig which runs from Dec 4-6 called Sex.Macht.Musik. That’s Sex.Makes.Music in English in case you hadn’t worked it out.

I think it’s a fabulous idea. I’m a great lover of music in all its many forms and without a doubt it is a wonderful accompaniment to sex. The second movement of Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 21 works well for a slow and sensuous romp and Sketches of Spain by Miles Davis is good as well.

What’s your favourite fucking music?