Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

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Tracking down this classic Hong Kong novel, even in Hong Kong, was something of a chore. I finally picked a copy up at the Star Ferry pier. Not the one where Robert Lomax first met Suzie, a recreation of the original Central pier which is now in what would have been the middle of the harbour back in the 1950s when the book was written.

In the twenty years since I first read it Hong Kong has changed dramatically. It would be unrecognisable to Lomax and Suzie. There are still pockets of old Hong Kong but they are few and far between and diminishing every year. Squeezed out by soulless steel and glass that the HK government likes to call urban renewal.

That said, characters that populated Richard Mason’s novel are still very familiar. Their names, complexions and the range of languages they speak have changed but their business in Wanchai is flourishing.

The book has won considerable acclaim, not for the love story between a British painter and a prostitute, but for the authors keen observation of a place that was about to transform itself from a small trading post into the vibrant commercial hub that it is today. And of the hypocracy and rascism that was characteristic of of the era.

What makes the book special for me is the richness and depth of Mason’s characters, not just of Lomax and Suzie who have been widely recognised, but of the entire cast. In particular the other girls that worked the bar of the Nam Kok Hotel.

In the years since I first read this book I have spent more than my fair share of time in the company of their sisters in the real world. Reading it again I realise just how beautifully delineated their characters are:

“I could not help liking old Lily Lou. She reminded me of an old theatre pro, who had grown up in a narrow professional world, took pride in the old fashioned thoroughness of her technique, and looked down on on the present-day youngsters for skimping their job. She remembered her own training at a smart brothel in Shanghai - oh, in those days you’d got to know how to please a man, you’d got to take trouble and time. It had been a real vocation; none of these modern girls would have lasted a minute. “They’ve got no mystery dear,” she would whisper huskily, confidentially, patting my hand. “And that’s what a man likes - mystery.” And she would smile her carefully enigmatic smile that, despite the old whore’s shabbiness and over-rouged cheeks, could still just pass for mystery in the low diffused light of the bar.”

Into all the girls the author breathes a life so convincing that, in most of them, I can see the faces of counterparts that I have actually met. Rather than stocking the bar with one dimensional background characters he has crafted, with a great deal of affection, each individual person. It is this empathy, the warts and all humanity, that brings the bar of the Nam Kok hotel to life.

Only Suzie herself remains elusive, the one character you reach for but can’t quite grasp. Mason always maintained that Suzie was not based on any particular girl but was a composite of several. And while she has her own very human frailties she remains the dream-girl. The mystery that still draws men to places like Hong Kong in search of a Suzie of their own.

*The cover shown is the 1994 edition published by Pegasus Books featuring Nancy Kwan who played Suzie in the 1960 Paramount movie

Read also: Wanchai
Read also: The Red Lips bar

Tak ka tan: A bit like Pringles with legs

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Her lacquered fingers delicately pulled the wings away from the body, the legs were similarly dispatched. The torso she popped deftly between ruby red lips. “Arroy” she said. I raised my eyebrows, cockroaches taste good huh? “Not a cockloach!” she replied as she slipped off her stool to go and get me another beer.

Thai cuisine is famous all over the world and restaurants catering to lovers of the countries gastronomic delights flourish everywhere from Sydney to Seattle. But if you’ve had the pleasure of sitting at the beer bars in say, Nana Plaza, for any length of time you may have noticed that some of the things that the girls put into their mouths bare little resemblance to the things you see on Thai menus in the western world.

The other evening, while propping up the bar at Playskool, I issued a five-hundred baht note (about US$15) to two delightful ladies and commissioned them to return with snacks. This is what they brought:

Som tam

Ferocious: som tam

The Tourist Authority of Thailand likes to claim that fried rice is the national dish but considering Thai cuisine is famous for being spicy a plate of kao pad seems a bit pedestrian for a national dish. Tom yam goong is the hot, sour prawn soup that all Thai restaurants have on the menu but for the average Thai that’s a luxury dish.

Som tam on the other hand is cheap and available everywhere. Every neighbourhood has it som tam lady and if you ever need to catch up on local gossip go talk to her. The som tam lady knows everything.

It is made from grated/julienned green papaya which is mixed in a mortar with tomato, fish sauce, sugar, lime juice and a fiendish amount of chilli.

It is often garnished with freshwater crab but I refuse that. Eating crab from a polluted river that has been stored in a plastic jar through the heat of a Bangkok day is too much like asking for trouble.

Ka nom jin
Noodles, again with a very spicy sauce. The recipes for this are many and have been handed down through the generations. This one had prawns, string beans and plenty of chilli but it disappeared over the other side of the bar somewhere, I only got to sample a tiny fork-full

Neur bing/Moo bing

Making kaoneow bing

Neur is beef and moo is pork. These were strips of the respective meats dried, cut into strips and barbecued. The strips are about the length of a finger but a bit thinner and are tough and chewy.

Kao neow/Kao neow bing
Kao neow is sticky rice. The rice grains are soaked overnight and then steamed in a rattan basket. This produces a congealed, chewy mass of rice which you can break off, roll into balls and dunk in the sauce of your som tam. Kao neow bing sees the rice being flattened out and rolled into discs about four inches in diameter. These are coated with something yellow and a bit cheesy flavoured and barbecued.

Jing leed

Jing leed: nutty

This is a cricket, wok fried lightly salted and eaten whole. It is quite crunchy and has a delicious nutty flavour. It is about one to one-and-a-half inches long.

Tak ka tan
The common grasshopper and one of the most popular of the insect dishes. This little critter used to devastate crops. When the farmers discovered they were edible they got their own back. These days they are even farmed. Wok fried and lightly salted they taste a bit like Pringles with legs.

Maeng Da
The giant water beetle has quite a bitter taste. It can be eaten whole but I think it is best minced and mixed with chillies, shallots and spring onions and eaten with kao neow. They can also be used to flavour curries.

I didn’t get to try the silk worm larvae or whole load of other interesting things this time around. The dishes are all popular in Issan the north-eastern region of Thailand which borders Laos and Cambodia. This is where most of the girls that work the bars, as well as taxi drivers, construction workers, cleaners etc come from. And they all go down exceedingly well with a bottle or five of cold BeerLao.

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I’ve been working on a review of popular condoms recently, it will be published here in due course.

Now there are just to many to do a really exhaustive survey so I’ve decided to omit all the special effect varieties, you know, the textured and the flavoured. They may be worth a post in their own right at some point in the future.

There is another type which I won’t include in the main survey but I thought I’d tell you about them now. Largely because it was the first time I’d ever tried them. These give you a tingling or warming sensation. I guessed they must be filled with the same types of herbs and oils that the respectable aromatherapy massage parlours use to sooth tired limbs all over Bangkok.

Now an old friend of mine, who sometimes hangs out at the Thermae Coffee shop and Bar, used to work in one of those parlours so I pocketed a packet of three and went off to look for her. She wasn’t hard to find. “Sawasdee ka, Khun Seymour.” She beamed. “Not see you long time.”
(continues here.., more pics too…)

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You’re laying back in a nice bubble bath with a masseuse trying to squeeze your dick between her firm soapy tits and all you can think about is whether you took the lottery tickets out your shirt pocket before you put it in the laundry, or did you put some fresh kitty litter down before you went out.

Whatever it is that’s nagging at the back of your mind it’s preventing you from focusing properly and getting the blood to where you need it. The polite term is ‘erectile dysfunction‘. You need help, but before you go and undelete all that nasty junk-mail here is a rundown on the basic differences.

Some people are of the opinion that Viagra and its ilk are only for old geezers and people that can’t get it up. But I think its useful to have around at anytime. It gives you a rock hard todger, removes uncertainty and promotes longevity. And that’s all good when you are in a two girl sandwich at the Darling Massage Parlour. And let’s face it, when you’re forking out good money for a spot of rumpy-pumpy the last thing you want is to go all floppy in the tub. And we’re on a time limit here you need to keep that downtime between boners to a minimum.

There are three main types; sildenafil, vardenafil and tadalafil. They each have their familiar branded name plus a bunch of generic equivalents. I’ve stuck to the more familiar brand names but included one generic simply because it’s presentation is different

VIAGRA (Pfizor)
sildenafil
These little blue diamonds are the original and most famous of all stiffy enhancers. And it is good, I usually get the 100mg tablets. For that trip to the Darling I’ll probably take a whole one. It can take anything from 30-60 minutes to kick in which means you need to take it well in advance. This is a bit of a bummer if you get there and find your favourite girls are busy sorting some other guy out right when you need them.

You can always chew it, then it gets into your system in about 15-20 minutes. It tastes evil but you can take it while the girls are running the bath. Just make sure there’s some mouth wash available to get rid of the taste.

Viagra is available in 25mg, 50mg and 100mg tablets. I get 100mg tablets and cut them in half. 50mg is usually enough for a quickie, 100mg seems to help get the blood pumping again ready for round two. It remains active in my body for about 3-4 hours.

KAMAGRA (Ajanta Pharma)
Sildenafil
Made in India, Kamagra contains the same active ingredient as Viagra but is an orange flavoured gel form. It’s available in 100mg sachets and tastes much better than a chewed viagra. It gets into the system in about 15-20 minutes.

The sachet is not as convenient as tablets and it is not as widely available as Viagra. But it is, where I get it from, about half the price. Although you can’t cut it in half.

I find Sildenafil to be very fickle, it doesn’t work after alcohol and is best on an empty stomach.

LEVITRA (Bayer)
vardenafil
I’ve been using Levitra a lot recently. It’s a bit more expensive than Viagra but much less fussy about what you’ve been eating and drinking. This means you don’t have to starve yourself for three hours to get the best results. So if you’re wanting to wine and dine your prospective fuckee Levitra is your man.

But it is worth remembering that it is all about absorbing them into your system. If your body is working overtime to digest a huge cheeseburger or a plate of fish, chips and mushy peas it’s going to take longer to kick in than if you had a salad or sushi. Likewise if you are full of alcohol it will take that much longer for the active ingredients to do their job.

Although it is a different active ingredient than Viagra the side-effects are pretty similar. Levitra is available in 2.5mg, 5mg, 10mg, and 20mg tablets. I get the 20mg and cut them in half.

CIALIS (Lilly ICOS)
tadalafil
The weekend pill, so-called because it remains active in your body for up to 36 hours. The advantage of this is that you don’t have to worry so much about timing. You can drop one on a Saturday morning, enjoy the benefits on the Saturday evening and still wake up with a raging boner on Sunday morning.

The disadvantage is that you potentially carry the side effects around with you for the same length of time. In my case though, the side effects seem less pronounced than with the others.

I tend to use this when I’m expecting to be with the same person for a few days.

It’s available in 5, 10, or 20 mg doses. I use the 20mg. In theory you can cut them in half but they are a daft pear-shaped tablet and I never got them quite into equal halves so I don’t bother.

At the end of the day they all give you a stiff dick and that’s what we want. You might prefer to settle on one brand that you are comfortable with or you might like to match them to the occasion. Of course the effects and side-effects will vary a little from person to person. The side-effects for all of them are pretty similar; flushes, runny nose and headaches are the most common. In my case they are all quite mild and headaches are infrequent. It’s a small price to pay for a boner that wont let you down.

*In some countries you need a prescription to get these legally. That invariably involves a medical examination even if only a brief one. I usually just buy them over the counter but that doesn’t mean I recommend that you do, there are side effects you need to consider. Remember, you are responsible for your own actions.

Read also: A bitter taste
Read also: (Little blue) Diamonds are a Boys Best Friend
Visit: the Parmacy

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First Innings: Have you ever licked your monitor? I nearly did, just now. I had a picture of Asha Kumara’s pussy filling the entire screen, and it’s a big screen. Her pussy looks good even from over the other side of the room but I had my nose about two inches from it. I could see the texture of her skin, blue polished fingertips clasping at her bum.

It is a great picture. My eyes traced every curve, I tried to imagine the scent of her skin, I swear I heard her giggle softly as she felt the tickle of my breath on the back of her thighs … and then I snapped out of my reverie.

The picture comes from a set called Cricket Cutie. Cricket is a noble sport and one of Asha’s favourites. It also provides the epithets needed to describe my condition; I was bowled over, knocked for six. I admired her delicious crease and then … ahem, I found myself on a rather sticky wicket.

Second Innings: In India folks are as obsessed with cricket as I am with sex but for, the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what the outfit she was wearing in that set had to do with cricket. I’ll defer to her superior knowledge on that, the important thing was that she took it off and showed me her pussy.

There are lots of pictures of Asha’s pussy in the members area. They are a generous 1600×1066 pixels and are all beautifully shot. Indeed all the pictures are beautifully shot and capture the sequence of events, as she strips off, without ever becoming too repetitive. (continues here.., more pics too…)

Light is pouring through the window, a clock on the wall reads 8.50. The door slowly opens and in walks Kaede wearing a short, see-though nightdress. She pads lightly across the room to a bed where Jun, wearing just a t-shirt and panties, is sleeping.

She wakes Jun with a kiss. They roll together hugging each other tenderly. Kaede begins to kiss Jun all over, working her way down her the her tummy to her belly button. Slowly she lifts Jun’s t-shirt feeling her breasts, kissing and licking the hard nipples. I really wanted to join in

Working her way back down the tummy she pulls Jun’s panties tight across her clean shaved pussy, eventually removing them altogether she continues to explore.

That was just the first movie I’d downloaded from G-Queen or Mumo Sengen: The Movie. It was about 12 minutes long and I’d already shot my bolt about half way through.

G-queen specialises in shaved Japanese pussies and, at the time of writing, they had about 50 models in over 150 clips all of a similar length PLUS around 20 lesbian clips. The movies are 640×480 resolution WMV format which look nice and clear when played in full screen mode on my 17 inch monitor with a screen resolution of 1280×1024.

None of them are censored we see good crisp shots of pussies shaved and being shaved.

The movies are quite slow paced. Instead the camera lingers over the various parts of the body, exploring and drinking in every detail and providing lots of yummy close ups. Most of the movies are solo female or lesbian. There some but not a lot of male/female hardcore

Whilst the camerawork is quite skillful it is clear that many of the models are doing this for the first time. Looks of apprehension and shyness occasionally flicker across the models faces. In one an attack of the giggles threatens to overwhelm the set but the director maintains control. The result is a very touching intro to what turns out to be a very nice sequence indeed.

The models are all very attractive, with body shapes to meet most tastes from the slightly skinny to the slightly chubby, small boobs to big boobs. I’d be happy to meet any of them. Indeed they all look like the kind of girl you’d see any day on the Tokyo subway on their way to work or college

The English language interface for this site was launched at the end of 2006 and it couldn’t be easier to navigate. There is a single page with thumbnails of each model and a list of links beside it for each clip.

Most of the models have four 10-15 minute clips. These are fully downloadable and easily burned onto DVD so you can watch them from the comfort of your favourite armchair.

Many of the models have still image picture galleries though these are very much a side order, the banquet is the movies themselves. At the time of writing these galleries were only available through the Japanese interface but it is not difficult to navigate even if you can’t read Japanese. The images were all shot at the same time as the movies but, to be honest, the quality of the movies is such that I find the pictures surplus to requirement.

IN BRIEF
All Japanese models - Shaved
Videos - Over 200 high quality WMV format
Pictures - Most of the models have a small portfolio
Updates - Every week

PROS
This is a specialised site. There is no pixelation on the good bits and there are lots of close ups of shaved pussies. The girls are not professional models but they are attractive

CONS
There is no streaming, all videos must be downloaded to you hard drive. Since most of them are over 100 megabytes each this can take a while. But patience is well rewarded. This is still quite a small site but it is growing.
At the time of writing the still image galleries were only accessible through the Japanese language interface. click this url http://www2.g-queen.com/ms/login.html
then click on the shaved pussy in the red circle to log in

COST
US$49 for 30 days which will rebill at US$44 for subsequent months
US$90 for 60 days.

Billing is via US based CCBill, one of the most respected and secure billing systems serving the adult entertainment industry.

To visit Mumo Sengen The Movies simply click on the banner or on this link.

Although the term ‘Little Brown Fucking Machine’ goes way back to the Vietnam war I first heard it in Hong Kong back in the mid-eighties. The phrase was (and still is) used to describe the territories vast army of domestic helpers, most of whom whom are imported from the Philippines.

Sunday was the traditional day off and every week after lunch they would pour into discos in Wanchai, such as Pussycat and Makati, that opened especially for them. The Filipinas were augmented by Thai restaurant workers and a few Indonesians. And, of course, a varied selection of working girls.

When I discovered the Little Brown Fucking Machines website it brought on, first, a smile of recognition then a wave of nostalgia. I spent many a happy Sunday afternoon chasing LBFMs and even if I failed to get lucky on the dance floor I could always head into one of the girly bars and watch Thai or Filipina pole dancers.

The pictures and videos on this site seem to be fairly evenly split between Thai and Filipina and between boy/girl, girl/girl and solo girl. And, on occassion, girl/banana and other intriguing objects. (continues here.., more pics too…)