Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

.
.
.
.
.
The phrase ‘little brown fucking machine’ has been around for a long time, at least since the Vietnam war. I first heard it in Hong Kong where LBFM was used as a collective noun for the army of Filipina domestic helpers that work there. These days it is pretty much applied to girls from all over Southeast Asia; Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia, Laos and Cambodia as well as Vietnam and the Philippines.

Now I don’t have much need to go over to the Philippines these days and I don’t go out of choice because Manila is a pretty grotty place. Which is a shame because other parts of the Philippines are really quite lovely. I do get my Filipina fix every now and then because there are still plenty of them in Hong Kong. So I decided I would dedicate to post to Filipina amateurs. Enjoy

Review: Little Brown Fucking Machines

.
.
.
.

It’s been bloody cold in Hong Kong these last few days. I do not like the cold. The old todger shrivels up and my bollocks get like a walnut. Hong Kong buildings aren’t designed to cope with this (it only happens for a couple of weeks a year) so it in invariably just as cold indoors as it is out.

On evenings like this most folks stay home with a bottle of something nice and a movie. But I’ve never been very good at that lark, TV and movies hold little fascination for me. The whereabouts of little Miki does intrigue me though and since I was in that area of town I decided to continue my search.

It was about seven o’clock and there were a lot of people hurrying home from work. Presumably it’s a busy time for professional ladies too, with guys stopping in for a quick one before scurrying home to wife and kids. Suffice to say the first few places I tried I didn’t even get an answer.

The last door I tried was on an open passage way on the third or fourth floor. The main road was below and across it and level with me was a modern keep fit centre with an army of lean sweaty bodies pounding the treadmills in the wall sized windows.
(continues here.., more pics too…)

Typhoon Pabuk is stomping through Hong Kong at the moment. Typhoons are what people in the Pacific call Hurricanes. Though they never seem quite as ferocious as hurricanes they do have their moments, usually by uprooting small Pacific nations so they rarely make it onto the mainstream news.

But the arrival of Typhoon Pabuk means my departure has been delayed and I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to get out and drown my sorrows in Wanchai.

It’s not the first time I’ve been forced to batten down the hatches in Honkers and sit out a storm. In fact it’s happened several times.

Some years ago it was Typhoon Brenda that delayed my departure to the Philippines but on that occasion poetic Justice was eventually served.

When I did finally get to my destination I found myself playing pool, and loosing rather badly, to a lady called Brenda. I re-christened her Typhoon Brenda because I thought it was a good name for a pool player. She started the jokes about blow jobs.
More pics this way (continues here.., more pics too…)

She was giving me that look, the one where she stares at while you’re watching the TV. The one that makes you feel like a grubby peice of meat. I love it when they look at you like that.

I was in a bar called The Bridge in Wanchai, I’d stopped in for a quick beer after a meeting and wasn’t planning on getting into any mischief. I was staring hard at the TV wondering who would speak first. “Hello Honey”, she said.

Well we exchanged all the usual pleasantries, she was from the Philippines. She told me she had only been in Hong Kong a day and that she had come to visit her friend who was also at the bar.

Then her phone rang. Without a hint of embarrassment she answered it, made arrangements to meet the owner of what was definitely a male voice in half an hour and hung up. “Is this your first time to Hong Kong?” I asked. “Yes”, she said and then answered her phone again. The second fellow was going to have to wait until tomorrow it seemed.

“What was I looking for?”, she wanted to know. I wasn’t actually looking for anything but I wasn’t going to let that little detail stop me. “I’m looking for the kind of girl that likes to have wild sex with total strangers in return for a moderate fee”, I said. She made it clear that she wasn’t that kind of girl at all and stomped off to talk to her friend.

A short while later she had to leave to go meet her date but before she left she passed me a slip of paper, blew me a kiss and said “Call me.” I watched her as she went down the steps. “Nice bum”, I thought, and slipped the paper into my wallet.

The girl flashing her knickers is Fucking Machine Joyce. Click the picture to find a few more of her. Click here to find LOADS more

Find out more about LBFMs here

Every Sunday in Hong Kong thousands of Filipinas gather in Central district to meet friends and relatives, to relax and to catch up on the gossip after spending the week cleaning the toilets of those in Hong Kong that are privileged enough to have a domestic helper. They brighten up what would otherwise be a drab day in a deserted business district.

And of course a good many of them are feeling just a tad lonely since they have left family and friends behind in the Philippines in order to become what is often the families only breadwinner. And they love to dance. In Wanchai discos open their doors at lunch time and by mid afternoon the places are jam packed.

They charge just a nominal admission fee, which includes a drink, because the ladies can’t afford a lot. They don’t charge me anything to get in. But then they know that I’m going to be buying the drinks.

Well after you had a couple of drinks and a bit of a dance. You might like to suggest slipping off for a bite to eat. As you step out into the fading daylight she’ll look at you and say “I’m not one of those kind of girls you know”. And you will reply “Oh absolutely not, I never would have thought for one mo … shall we go up to SoHo?, I know a lovely little restaurant …”

Well by the time you’ve drained the wine you’ll have both told many more lies than that so I wouldn’t worry about it. She’ll eventually get to the all important question; “Where so you live?”

“Oh, not far from here in fact”, you’ll reply. “Would you like to see?”

So you hop into a taxi. She’ll remind you that she’s not one of those girls and you’ll remind her, as you slip you arm around her shoulder, that you are an old fashioned boy and that such thoughts couldn’t be further from your mind.

At the end of the evening you’ll promise to see each other in the same place next week, “Now let me pay for your taxi home.” you’ll say “Oh look, I don’t have anything smaller. Never mind, give me the change next week”

You can find loads of yummy Filipinas at The Filipina Archives

Don’t forget to visit my porno collection at Asian Floozie and cams at Talk Dirty

The Waterfront doesn’t seem like an unusual name for a hotel but for the one in Cebu city it is indeed a bit odd. It is not on the waterfront! It is not even near the waterfront. It is not near anything for that matter but I don’t want to grate on about it.

I’d been down in other parts of Cebu Island doing loads fun things but I had a evening to waste before flying out in the morning. I wound up at the Waterfront.

On the way up to the room I grilled the bellboy about bars in the vicinity. I really didn’t want to stray too far or stay out too late as the flight was quite early. But the news was not good.

I’m sure he sensed my disappointment. As he turned to go he said; “Is there anything else I can get for you, sir?” I thought for a moment then opened my wallet and handed him a crisp $50 bill, “Keep me out of trouble,” I said. He grinned and was gone.

Twenty minutes later the security guards arrived, two of them. They pushed me back into the room but before I could complain one of them hit me in the face with a plump brown tit. I fell on the bed where she tried to push her nipple into my mouth. (continues here.., more pics too…)

Although the term ‘Little Brown Fucking Machine’ goes way back to the Vietnam war I first heard it in Hong Kong back in the mid-eighties. The phrase was (and still is) used to describe the territories vast army of domestic helpers, most of whom whom are imported from the Philippines.

Sunday was the traditional day off and every week after lunch they would pour into discos in Wanchai, such as Pussycat and Makati, that opened especially for them. The Filipinas were augmented by Thai restaurant workers and a few Indonesians. And, of course, a varied selection of working girls.

When I discovered the Little Brown Fucking Machines website it brought on, first, a smile of recognition then a wave of nostalgia. I spent many a happy Sunday afternoon chasing LBFMs and even if I failed to get lucky on the dance floor I could always head into one of the girly bars and watch Thai or Filipina pole dancers.

The pictures and videos on this site seem to be fairly evenly split between Thai and Filipina and between boy/girl, girl/girl and solo girl. And, on occassion, girl/banana and other intriguing objects. (continues here.., more pics too…)