Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

Click pic to watch trailer

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.I’ve never been that big on comic books though I did make an exception for Garth Ennis’ deliciously degenerate take on super-heroes, The Pro. It’s a story about a single mother who hooks on the side to make ends meet. One day she wakes up to discover she has been given supernatural powers and that the “League of Honour” a group of strangely familiar looking super-heroes is welcoming her into the club.

However, she doesn’t blend all that well with the squeaky clean image of your average Joe Superhero and she shows them, and the values that go with them, up for the anachronism that they are. She also pisses on her vanquished villains and gives The Saint (Superman) a blow job.

The book was originally published in 2002. According to wikipedia there had been talk about a live action adaptation last year. This appears to have been shelved and an animated pilot has been made and posted to youtube. It’s really quite faithful to the original and I hope they go all our to turn it into a series or a feature.

I won’t spoil the story for you, enjoy the clip and I highly recommend you go out and find a copy of the book, Amazon have it.

Check out my pussy, special offer

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There’s a story doing the internet rounds that says shopping can cause impotency in men. I have believed this all along but according to the story boffins have discovered that a chemical compound found on some till receipts contains enough Bisphenol A (BPA) to suppress male hormones in the body.

BPA is the stuff that helps the ink stick to the paper. It also sticks to your fingers so when you stick a doughnut or something into your mouth it carries a payload of Bisphenol A.

Berlin-based urologist Professor Frank Sommer told the Daily Telegraph; “A substance like that could shift the balance of the sex hormones in men towards oestrogen.”

“In the long term this leads to less sexual drive, encourages the belly instead of the muscles to grow and has a bad effect on erection and potency.” he continued.

Encourages the belly eh? So next time the missus wants a Saturday afternoon at the mall just tell that the till receipts will make her fat.

Dr Anri Suzuki wants to compensate

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Dr Anri Suzuki, from Tokyo, is an expert in Sino-Japanese history specialising in the Japanese invasion of China in 1937. But the 24-year old feels deeply ashamed of what her countrymen did back then and wants to offer a symbolic compensation.

“I want to cure the wounds of China with my body, and I offer to do this by having sex with Chinese students in Japan,” she told metro.co.uk.

Dr Suzuki, I do realise that I am not Chinese but I have suffered nothing but grief ever since I learned about the terrible events of 1937 in school. I would like nothing better than to find closure, to put those events behind me and I believe you could help. I will be arriving in Tokyo on Tuesday.

Chinese beauty spot Pinpi Poon. Click for sight seeing.

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A bunch of art students were taking pictures of a local beauty at a local beauty spot in Zhengzhou, eastern China. All of a sudden angry farmer and landowner, Hu Wen, comes galloping onto the scene waving a large stick and chases them all away.

“It wasn’t just the students,” he complained. “We get a lot of tourists walking through the valley and they had all stopped too and were snapping away with their cameras and phones.”

Farmer Wen waggles his stick.

He told Britain’s Metro that he didn’t want those kinds of perverts on his land, that the students should be drawing or painting and not taking obscene pictures. He also said he didn’t hit the naked lady, instead he helped her back into her clothes and gave her a lecture on morality.

I bet it helped his bamboo grow though, don’t you?

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Some girls are messy eaters, it’s true. They can also make a lot of noise. The noise is quite popular in some quarters, I’ve heard guys say that they get really turned on by an enthusiastic slurping sound.

It makes me giggle. But since I don’t want to appear rude I try to suppress it. But the tremors still ripple through my body. This leads the girl to think I am about to cum so she redoubles her effort which makes me giggle more.

But I digress. For the dribblers salvation is at hand. Now we must be quite fair, cocks can’t be the easiest of things to get in your mouth. It’s also correct to say that, if all goes according to plan, the cock will be contributing more than it’s fair share to the mess.

That’s why the Lickie Dickie is the latest must have accessory for every bedside table. The Lickie Dickie is a strawberry scented, individually wrapped, tissue with a hole in the middle.

Stick your dick through the hole and whoever is gets on the other end will no longer get pubes stuck between their teeth. They will also have somewhere to wipe their chin and spit out your share of the mess, if they are not inclined to swallow, without have to go rummaging under the bed to find the toilet roll that must have fallen there ten minutes earlier.

The Lickie Dickie is available in packs of three, twelve and twenty-four