Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

Well it took two years for the idea to germinate but I’m sure it wont take that long before it actually goes into production. The FleshLiPad is a helpful little device that allows you to attach your fleshlight to the underside of your iPad so you can more effectively fap to the images contained therein.

Apple’s churlish notion of keeping porn off it’s devices was always doomed to failure, unless they were planning on eradicating it from the internet. Old Jobsy will be spinning in his grave at the thought of thousands of sex-starved blokes crashing his gizmos into groins whilst slobbering over the contents of their rule 34 folder. And since this will be just a peice of plastic that wont need an iTunes store for distribution there is no snoopware that can stop it.

I heard the sad tale of a man fapped his way off this mortal coil while surfing porn on the internet. Heart attack apparently though it wasn’t known if it happened mid-stroke or if it was triggered by the realisation of a sticky nirvana. Either way sitting at the kitchen table with your laptop open and your pants around your knees is a rather undignified way to go.

That story, which was revealed in the pub the other evening, was followed by other yarns about guys in Bangkok who have met their doom by overdosing on Viagra. I find those stories less believable. There is no benefit to pumping extra Sildenafil into your blood, once you have a stiffy that is it. You’re not going to grow a second cock no matter what.

It can affect people that have a pre-existing heart condition, that’s why it’s a good idea to see the Doc. But it’s more likely that their heart attacks were triggered by over exertion. I must admit, having your dick shoved up a pussy and your face buried in voluptuous boobies, is a far more agreeable place to breathe your last.

I hope when my time comes it will be cumming with a girl like Mai Ly here.

The year has started cold and miserable in Hong Kong. It’s made even more miserable by the shortage of working girls. Well at least my favourite ones have all buggered off back to China for the spring festival.

There are others of course but in weather like this I like to just hop into a taxi and go knowing that the girl will be there when I arrive. At Chinese New Year most things close down for three days, or sometimes as much as two weeks. That includes a lot of the girls most of whom come from the mainland.

I could always head up to the Wanchai and chase Filipinas but that would involve also consuming large amounts of alcohol and, to be honest, I enjoy sex a lot more when I’m sober. At least I can remember who I fucked the following day.

See also: China Pussy
See also: Shaved Chinese Pussies

Have you ever actually tried nude sushi? It’s sashimi really since you layer it onto a naked body rather then a block of rice and you don’t actually eat the body, just suck and lick it a bit … well rather a lot really.

The idea is that you layer bit of sashimi over a naked body and then eat it without using chopsticks. It’s great in theory but the problem is that without wasabi and soy sauce the sashimi isn’t all the great and girls do not like getting either of those in their pussies. And you would not like them on your dick either I can assure you.

Dessert items work a lot better, canned fruit and whipped cream are excellent and neither of them sting. Smarties or chocolate M&Ms will get you into a delicious colourful mess. For the weight conscious try slices of peach, mango, kiwi and banana with yoghurt. Mmmmm yummy.

Enjoy these shaved pussies from Japan, you can find more at these links:

See also Service with a smile
See also Nine Shaved pussies from Japan
See also: 101 shaved Asian Pussies
See also: G Queen Site Review

You know the time, when she’s just got out the shower and she’s got a soft fluffy dressing gown on and a towel wrapped around her head. But underneath them she is all shiny and clean and naked and smelling of lovely soapy things.

It makes me so horny. Got to get her attention before she stars putting her make-up on or all will be lost. Reach out and give that dressing gown a tug. She’s pretending not to notice but I know. I’ll give it a harder tug next time she passes. There, got it this time, and I’m not going to let go. She falls back onto the bed. “Look do you mind” she protests, “I’m trying to … have you moved my hair dryer”

But she wont protest for long then we can have another shower, together all soft and soapy and slippery together. Then I shall give her hair dryer back

As soon as had I pressed the button on the last post I remembered this little blockbuster from the good folks at G-Queen. If you are going to run a mini-mart this is the way to do it. Tell everyone take off their knickers before they are allowed in.

It makes perfect sense. It would cut down on petty theft because there would be fewer pockets in which to hide things. It would also save me from this kind of indignity next time I think about getting the hots for a checkout girl.

But quite simply it would just make popping out for a couple of packets of dried noodles a lot more fun.