Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

As usually happens just after Chinese New Year, a whole new crop of girls has arrived in Hong Kong from the Mainland. As the Chinese holiday season approaches the number of working girls in town gradually dwindles as girls from across the border start returning to be with their families. Then, for two weeks, there are very few of them around. Once the season is over a whole new batch arrives.

I do miss the ones ones that had become regulars but there are plenty of new ones to get to know. Should keep me occupied for the next few weeks at any rate.

Yumi Aina on the right here is not from China, she is from Japan. She has the most edible pussy ever

I’m about I’m about the last person you’d want to ask for advice concerning marriage. Never-the-less I do get the occasional e-mail from guys looking for a permanent mate.”How easy is it to find a girl who would be willing to marry a foreigner?”, “What are the pitfalls of doing so?”

To answer the first question; it’s very easy indeed. The pitfalls are that most of them seem to fail. What you have to remember is that most bargirls (and mail-order brides for that matter) come from very poor, rural parts of their country. They have large extended families and don’t have much by way of an education.

Transplanting them to your country often causes them serious culture shock. They are far away from all their friends and family. Girls from the Philippines will at least be able to speak English, Thais will have a much harder time just communicating, and they probably wont even be able to find a decent plate of som tam.

But there are some success stories, the ones I know all live in theis part of the world. If you are dead set on marrying one then you probably need to consider that option. I’d suggest you come out for a visit, hit a few bars and fuck around a bit. Travel up country and get an idea of what the place is really like. Also talk to expats, you’ll usually find some in bars. They’ll give you their thoughts on the idea.

According to an air hostess I’ve been seeing these past couple of weeks. She’s Japanese. I met her in Qatar last year but didn’t really get to spend any time with her. But we exchanged e-mails and now it turns out she’s rostered onto Hong Kong flights. At least for this month.

Anyway we met for for a couple of glasses and I popped the question. Do all Japanese girls squeak? I asked. It’s been some years since I was in Japan and I couldn’t remember any of the girls I’d slept with squeaking.

But they always do in porn movies, I insisted. She said the she certainly doesn’t and pointed out that most peoples houses were small and the walls thin. Girls would be too embarrassed to go outside if they made noises like that.

She won’t let me rumple up her air hostess uniform but on subsequent visits she does bring other uniforms that I’m more than welcome to mess up. Sometimes she squeaks but then she catches herself and we end up laughing.

I was asked, the other day, how I manage to keep my youthful good looks. Apparently I didn’t look like the old pot-bellied, beer swilling drunk that my inquisitor assumed normally hangs out at Bangkok girly bars. I say assumed because I doubt that they’ve ever been to one and that they have built up their cherrished stereotype from hearsay.

Excessive beer swilling does, of course, promote pot bellies regardless of what bar you drink it in. But I don’t drink excessive amounts of beer nor do I visit girly bars all that often. I do both sometimes and I enjoy myself when I do but it’s mostly for networking. When I entertain birgirls it’s usually a pre-arranged rendezvous in the afternoon. Most of the time I’m early to bed and early to rise, hitting the gym at 6.00am and never eating junk food or drinking soda.

It helps keep my body in reasonable shape so I can enjoy abusing it all the more.

Well it took two years for the idea to germinate but I’m sure it wont take that long before it actually goes into production. The FleshLiPad is a helpful little device that allows you to attach your fleshlight to the underside of your iPad so you can more effectively fap to the images contained therein.

Apple’s churlish notion of keeping porn off it’s devices was always doomed to failure, unless they were planning on eradicating it from the internet. Old Jobsy will be spinning in his grave at the thought of thousands of sex-starved blokes crashing his gizmos into groins whilst slobbering over the contents of their rule 34 folder. And since this will be just a peice of plastic that wont need an iTunes store for distribution there is no snoopware that can stop it.

I heard the sad tale of a man fapped his way off this mortal coil while surfing porn on the internet. Heart attack apparently though it wasn’t known if it happened mid-stroke or if it was triggered by the realisation of a sticky nirvana. Either way sitting at the kitchen table with your laptop open and your pants around your knees is a rather undignified way to go.

That story, which was revealed in the pub the other evening, was followed by other yarns about guys in Bangkok who have met their doom by overdosing on Viagra. I find those stories less believable. There is no benefit to pumping extra Sildenafil into your blood, once you have a stiffy that is it. You’re not going to grow a second cock no matter what.

It can affect people that have a pre-existing heart condition, that’s why it’s a good idea to see the Doc. But it’s more likely that their heart attacks were triggered by over exertion. I must admit, having your dick shoved up a pussy and your face buried in voluptuous boobies, is a far more agreeable place to breathe your last.

I hope when my time comes it will be cumming with a girl like Mai Ly here.