Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

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The word banana comes from the African language wolof but probably arrived in the English via Portuguese or Spanish. Archaeological evidence suggests that they were first cultivated in Papua New Guinea as far back as 5,000 BCE. They come in a range of sizes and there are even purple/reddish coloured varieties.

Bananas are rich in potassium and the vitamins C and B6. These help in the building of muscles and protein synthesis. The potassium stimulates nerve impulses for muscle contraction. A diet rich in potassium can reduce the risk of hypertension and stroke. And since bananas are free from sodium they can also help reduce high blood pressure.

The vitamins C and B6 help the body to defend against and heal infections. They also help in the synthesis of antibodies in the immune system apart from red blood formation, protein metabolism and functioning of the central nervous system

No other fruit contain more digestible carbohydrates. This is good because, the body burns off calories from carbohydrate more easily and quickly than calories from fat or protein.

Tussinee loves bananas and I love watching her peel.

Visit Tussinee

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If one wishes to live like a king but one is not born with the financial resources to do so, it is gratifying to know that at least one can now fuck like a king. To facilitate this one need only invest five British pounds in a packet of three Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction. Launched to commorate the betrothal of Prince William of Wales to Ms. Catherine Elizabeth Middleton.

“Combining the strength of a prince,”reads the box, “with the sensitivity of a princess-to-be, Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction promise a royal union of pleasure and style”

According to the website Crown Jewels uses “…only the finest lubricatory preparation with each condom individually wrapped for your pleasure and convenience…” Elsewhere it says “… Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction is dedicated to furnishing the best English prophylactics to discerning clientele across the world.”

They do look very regal in their nice puple box with gold lettering and a picture Willy and Kate making sheeps eyes at each other. Problem is they don’t work. A disclaimer on the site reads “Crown Jewels Royal Wedding Souvenir Condoms are a novelty condom not suitable for contraception or protection against STDs.”

I suppose if you’re the future king one doesn’t have to worry about that sort of thing. One might have to do spot of public billing and cooing for the press rabble but one has a valet to do the messy stuff.

Peter parrot pokes Polly and then, at around the 40 second mark, hops off and does a lap of honour around the cage to celebrate. It is this bit that makes the film worth its weight in gold. Meanwhile Polly pimps her feathers and clearly doesn’t respect him afterwards. It’s a good film, educational, if know what I mean. David Attenborough would be proud.

See also: Elephant porn

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Connoisseurs of Asian porn will probably have noticed by now that AsianZilla has had a bit of a nip-and-tuck recently. For those of you that have only just discovering the sensual beauties of the far east let me introduce you.

AsianZilla was first launched back in 2000. It quickly became one of top three Asian focused TGPs of the time and, along with Uh-oh and Asianthumbs, it’s probably one of the longest running. Over the years I have spent many a happy hour there clicking through the galleries.

Around 2005 it’s owner started getting into other things and the updates came to a halt. In 2007 it found new owners and new love. A paysite review section was added in 2009 and just last December it was relaunched with a complete make-over, new graphics and a new TGP script to manage the updates.

The homepage now boasts a daily babelog with a new hottie added twenty-four hours. Navigation is a breeze with a clear index of all the main sections along the top. Another Index along the bottom includes links to more specific interests such as fetish or big boobs.

Of course there are no pop-ups or other nasties on the site itself but the webmaster also vets the gallery links to ensure they are as clean and free of impediments to your surfing pleasure as possible. AsianZilla has been in my bookmarks for many years. If you haven’t done so already you should add it to yours.

Visit: AsianZilla

Fancy a fling?

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It was not long ago I was mourning anniversary of the passing of Kirsty MacColl and now it seems that Gerry Rafferty has gone (04 Jan 2011). Like Kirsty I suspect his song, Baker Street, is probably more famous than the man himself.

I used to live on Baker street in a former life. I have fond memories of that period, and of Aliisa, the Finnish au pair, who used to come around and beat me up from time to time. It was her way of showing me that she liked me.

Aliisa was a classic Scandinavian beauty, tall, slim, blonde and very fit. Quiet and thoughtful most of the time but wild when aroused. It wasn’t that she liked her sex rough, apart from the occasional bite she wasn’t a violent person at all. But she did go about it with a lot enthusiasm and energy. And, as I said, she was very fit. I would find myself being body-slammed against the wall or catapulted into the headboard when she wanted a change of position.

“I did tell you …,” she would say, “… oh I forgot, you don’t speak Finnish.” When she came she would hold me so tight against her that I worried she would crack our ribs. Then she would fall back laughing, sweat on her brow and wisps of blonde hair in her mouth. She was even more beautiful in those moments.

Rafferty’s song was a hit in an earlier era but that saxophone intro always reminds me of her smile.