Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

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When the PLA sashay down Changan Avenue to Tiananmen Square on Thursday to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the Peoples Republic of China they will be wearing the shiny new uniforms that were designed for them in 2007 to celebrate the military’s own 80th birthday.

Its the first time the new threads have been given a public airing so boots and buttons will no doubt all be polished to an incandescent gleam. I’m not big on pomp myself but it did remind me of a pic someone sent me a couple of years ago.

I’ve no idea what it was all about but I deduce it was a rehearsal for something given that two of the girls have trousers on under their uniforms and the one on the far left is mentally composing stern words to have with the wardrobe department and/or choreographers concerning the problems of goose-stepping in short skirts.

A search of Google failed to provide anymore information about the event but it did turn up some more fetching pics of China’s military gals so I thought I’d share.

Happy birthday China

See also: Rare China Pussy

Virgins, both of ‘em

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An Egyptian scholar is calling for the execution of anyone found importing the Artificial Virginity Hymen. They take virginity very seriously in the Middle East but for thirty greenbacks this little kit can redo that which has been undone, or at least fake it effectively. That’s a lot cheaper than hymen repair surgery, which is performed in secret by some clinics.

All you do (if you’re a lady) is pop it in and the thing expands a little making you feel tight. When hubby thrusts his first thrust a little blood-like liquid oozes out. All you need to add is a few convincing moans.

According to Abdul Mouti Bayoumi such a device was akin to spreading vice in society and that is punishable by death in Sharia law.

Each pack contains two artificial hymens so the manufacturers are clearly not anticipating a high degree of fidelity from their customers.

Now this got me thinking. I know a lot of girls who are always looking for ways to add value to the services they offer. If a lass were to buy over the internet and place a bulk order of fifty or more kits she could get them for as little as 10 bucks a hymen. Well below the premium she could charge for being a virgin.

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“Wah!”, they said in unison. In Chinese it’s the all encompassing expression of surprise. The people that said it were four new recruits who had arrived from China late the night before.

I had gone there to give a farewell bonk to a lady who had become a bit of a regular over the previous few weeks. I’d seen one of the girls asleep on the sofa when I arrived. This sort of thing is not unusual and I just ignored her.

She was still asleep when we passed to go to the shower. Where’s the other girl that is usually here I asked. “Go back already,” she said. She was giving a lot of attention to the old todger and I’ve always been a bit of a sucker for a pair of soapy hands so I closed my eyes and enjoyed myself.

Just when it was as big and shiny as it could get she pushed me out of the shower. I wrapped the customary flimsy towel around as best I could and headed back to the bedroom. I was than that I discovered the girl on the sofa had not only woken up but had been joined by three others.

“Wah!” The towel was doing bugger all to hide my stiffy so I just pulled it aside and let it point proudly at the ceiling “Wah!” They said again.

By this time my girl had emerged. She grabbed the towel from me and hung it on my dick. “No no no,” she said, “They never see foreign man before”. Really I asked and, being the genial fellow that I am, pulled the towel away again and invited them all to come and have a squeeze. And they all did … until they realised they should be doing such things for free.

After the business had been done we went back out and sat around with the girls for a while. They were all students from Changsha in Hunan province. College is expensive and conventional part-time jobs just don’t make ends meet.

As I was leaving my young lady told me that I must come back next time because they all want to try a big western dick.

And you know what?, I think I probably will.

See also: Enter the Dragons Lair
See also: The sweetest smile
Free pics: Shaved China Pussy

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A strapping young farmer stopped by the local mechanic’s to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so since didn’t live far he decided to just just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry all his purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, “Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?”

The farmer said, “Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can’t carry all this.”

The old lady suggested, “Why don’t you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?”

“Why splendid idea”, he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home. On the way he says “Let’s take my short cut down this alley. We’ll be there in no time.”

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, “I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your evil way with me?”

The farmer said, “I’m carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly do that?’

The old lady replied, “Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens.”

See Also: Philosophy is like an erection