Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

Tasty Hana from Indonesia: finger lickin’ good

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A court in Kuala Lumpur has told a well known burger chain that they don’t have a monopoly on the prefix ‘Mc’. The people of Ireland and Scotland will no doubt be relieved. Had they got away with their with their lawsuit against the Malaysian fast food minnow, McCurry, it might have emboldened them to try and pick off some other small time users of it.

McCurry is an Indian fast food chain of one restaurant in Kuala Lumpur. The name means Malaysian Chicken Curry (geddit?) although they also serve the classic fish head curry.

Incidentally the Malay word for chicken is ayam and the word for village is kampung, the same as Indonesian. Some years ago, and I can’t for the life of me remember if it was in Kuala Lumpur or Jakarta, a taxi driver told me that the best place to find ayam kampung was at the disco. I thought it was a rather charming piece of slang I wonder if it is still in use.

See also: Bar snacks in Bangkok

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My current circumstances don’t take me to the Philippines very often, it’s several years since I was last there. I have to confess, I don’t find Manila a very interesting as a city. Apart from the bars of course.

Fortunately there are lots of Filipinas working the bars in Hong Kong and circumstances take me back there on a regular basis so I’m able to get a fix when I need one. One advantage that girls from the Philippines have over their sisters from elsewhere is that the standard of spoken English is very high. This makes them good companions for dinner and going to English language movies.

Anyway this is all just an excuse to post a gallery of Joy Villa, click the pic to see it.

Shopping mayhem

There are few places more intense than Mongkok and Mongkok rarely gets more intense than on a Saturday or Sunday from late afternoon to evening. The crowds are at their most frenetic and the daylight fades imperceptibly into neon.

The words mong kok means something like bustling or busy corner. The place itself is a district in Kowloon which is part of the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region (SAR) of China.

And bustle it certainly does, according to the Guinness Book of Records it is the most densely populated place on earth. It has also long been a mecca for shoppers who arrive by the trainload from all corners of Hong Kong. The opening of Langham Place Hotel and Mall a couple of years ago only encouraged more. If you can stand the crowds it’s a good place for people watching. Grab a coffee, sit back and relax. The ebb and flow of shoppers usually carries with it a wealth of pretty faces and pert bottoms.

Where to find pink bits

The main ‘corner’ these days is the intersection of Nathan Road and Argyle Street though previously it was said to be further east along Argyle Street closer to where the present KCR station stands. Over this side of Nathan Road there is shopping mayhem. I refuse to go there.

West of Nathan Road, with the exception of Langham Place, is one the few areas left in Hong Kong that is still genuinely old. A wander around the backstreets here is quite fascinating in its own right. Adding spice to that is the fact that this area is, and always has been, a red light district.

Whilst travellers from the west may have gravitated towards Wanchai in search of their very own Suzie Wong, Mongkok was where the locals went. Indeed, even as little as fifteen years ago a foreigner needed to be introduced by a local friend in order to gain admittance to what were then called ‘fishball stalls’. After the popular street corner snack, a good fishball should be fresh, firm and supple. I think you get the idea.

Portland Street: Hot and wet

I don’t know if the name still persists but back then a fishball stall was a very dark place divided into numrous high walled booths. You wouldn’t be able to see your neighbour, for the most part you couldn’t even see your girl very well, but you could certainly hear him. It was an intriguing experience but ultimately not the most pleasant way to get your jollies.

It wasn’t the only way either but a foreigner still needed a sense of adventure to go, and there were no guarantees. For me it usually entailed sauntering along Shanghai Street in the small hours. Ears keen for the whisper, “hey mister, you want nice girl?” from a darkened doorway. Success was half an hour in a dimly lit room with a girl from mainland China.

In the final years of colonial rule the fishball stalls were forced to close or rather redecorate and call themselves karaoke (OK) parlours. Prostitution itself isn’t illegal in Hong Kong but soliciting is and the yellow and purple lights that marked the fishball stalls were deemed to be doing just that.

Karoke OK

But while the sun may have sat on both the British Empire and Hong Kong’s fishball stalls the commercial sex industry would eventually reinvent itself.

The 2003 SARS epidemic didn’t help. Indeed it probably did more damage than any official initiative could ever hope to have done. Unless you had a kink for surgical masks the only thing to do was wait it out.

SARS did a considerable amount of damage to the economy as a whole. But Hong Kong’s tenacity is legendary and since then the government has been busy rebranding it as Asia’s World City. It was a concept that Mongkok took to heart as brothels began to reopen along Portland, Shanghai and Reclamation Streets. But this time both outside customers and outside staff are welcome.

The girls, mostly from Thailand, Philippines and Mainland China, come to Hong Kong on tourist visas they may stay as little as a week or as long as a month. Sometimes they are career hookers, other times they are just ordinary girls who want to get some cash together fast.

Fishballs on the menu

The pink neon and dayglo menus brazenly advertise who you can meet, many also boast Russian girls though I’ve yet to find a venue that could provide, but they are very careful not to tell you what you can do once you’ve met them. You must figure that out for yourself.

See also: New chip on an old block
See also: Wanchai
See also: Red Lips bar, Hong Kong

Cover me in maple syrup and click me

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You don’t have to surf the net very far before you come across some fellows eulogy to a young ladies breasts. Almost without exception the aforementioned boobs will be large, and usually larger than average which is why they attracted his attention in the first place.

Few people mention small breasts which is a shame because small breasts are beautiful too. My current favourites are a yummy pair of 34As that are attached to Asia’s newest porn star, the delicious Pancake.

Pancake is Eurasian, or what the Thais call Luuk Kreung; half Thai and half caucasian. In Pancake’s case the caucasian half is English. She still lives in Thailand, is 21-years old and has just launched her new website, Dirty Pancake.

And dirty she is. She’s got toys, hardcore and lesbian pictures and movies. All top quality stuff.

I’ll post a more detailed report in a couple of weeks when I’ve had time to explore the site a bit more. In the meantime click the pic for a gallery.

So lets all say a loud hurrah for pancakes gorgeous boobies … and her perfectly edible shaved pussy.

Visit: Dirty Pancake
You will also like: Asha Kumara

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I feel a little sad today. A girl who had become something of a regular has left and gone back to China. I knew she would. Indeed I thought she had, at first she’d told me she was only staying seven days. Like a lot of these girls she is a student who had hopped over the border on a one month permit. They usually spend three weeks hooking and a week shopping before going back with full suitcases and a healthy bank balance.

This girl worked in a odd corner of Hong Kong, I had to travel a long way to get to her. “I like it here. she’d say. “Enough customers to make money but not too many so I can study.”

And study she did. Whenever I got there I’d find her in red plaid uniform poring over her laptop with books and papers strewn across the table beside her. Studying accountancy or economics by the looks of things. She would be sitting on the chair with one foot tucked under her panty-less bottom.

She was shy at first but by my second visit she’d become quite a chatterbox. Sex was always followed by a naked English lesson. The lessons were free though I never got so much as a discount on the sex. But she was always generous with her time and never tried to hurry me up.

Will you come back again? I asked her today. “No more,” she said “have enough money to finish college.” She gave me her number and invited me to go see her in Shenzhen. I gave her a big hug and paid her generously. “Next time no have to pay.” she smiled. I gave her another hug and left.

I could easily go to Shenzhen next week, it’s only a short train ride, no harder than crossing Hong Kong as I have been doing for the last few weeks. I could even stay there for a week or two and spend some quality time with her.

I looked at the paper with the number on, dropped it into the litter bin and cussed myself for getting sentimental.

See also: Rare China pussy
See also: Three is not a crowd