Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

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Kung hei fat choi, as they say in Hong Kong. Slightly different if you are elsewhere in China. It means “a happy and prosperous New Year”. In case you are wondering it is now the year of the ox so to celebrate here is some hot Chinese brisket to get you all horny.

Actually it’s been bloody cold in Hong Kong these last few days. I don’t do cold, it’s makes my cock shrivel up and my bollocks turn into a walnut. All my favourite warm bodies have gone back to China or are otherwise doing the family thing for the holidays. I could go and knock a few doors, see who else is around but I think it’s better to kick back with a few beers and a few good books for the duration.

Famous people born in the year of the ox include: Barack Obama, Catherine Freeman, Heather Locklear, Jane Fonda, Jack Nicholson, Juliette Lewis, Margaret Thatcher, Meg Ryan, Meryl Streep, Princess Diana, Vivien Leigh and George Clooney.

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Chilean fashion designer Ricardo Oyarzun has sparked outrage among religious types. His latest get-ups include some pretty low-cut numbers which, apparently, were inspired by but not intended to represent the Virgin Mary.

“There is no pornography here, there’s no sex, there are no virgins menstruating or feeling each other up,” said Oyarzun before Thursday’s show in Santiago. “This is artistic expression.”

What virgins feeling each other up had to do with it is anybody’s guess but it was an attractive thought. The church, however, was not impressed and a conservative group tried to get the show banned by the courts. Clearly they would rather their flock didn’t know that the V.M. had tits.

Of course Oyarzun could probably have avoided the squabble by simply ditching the thorny halos and the rosary beads and billing it as a line inspired by middle eastern motifs. I happen to know that middle eastern women can look pretty damn good despite the handicaps imposed on them by some of their governments. But I don’t suppose that would have generated the same amount of publicity.

And while we’re at it another question occurs; Is this line just a bit too late for Christmas or just a bit too early for Easter?

. . .Study the adorable Heidy Cheung

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Over fifty students have registered for the pornography course that is being offered by the Mass Communication Department at Providence University in Taiwan. To pass the students must analyse the psychological effects of a porn video on it’s audience and give a fifteen minute academic presentation.

The course is voluntary and students do sign a paper stating that if the scenes get too explicit they are allowed to leave the theatre. So far, according to assistant professor Miss Chen Mingmei - a teacher at the course, not one student left the classroom yet. Indeed most of the students admit to having watched porn before.

“I’m really worried my parents will see the score report when it is mailed home. I won’t know what to say if I get a high score,” said one student. “However if I fail the course, I can suggest that maybe I should watch more porn.”

Y’know, it’s really not such a daft idea. Porn is an important industry, even in countries whose governments claim it isn’t. People masturbate regardless of age, sex, colour or creed … I wonder if they need any guest speakers.

See also: Schoolgirls under threat

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It appears the Palazio Men’s Club in Austin, Texas is being sued by the mighty FremantleMedia - owners of TV programme American Idol. It seems FremantleMedia have got their panties in a bunch about Palazio’s Stripper Idol night claiming that consumers might confuse the two.

In Stripper Idol women are invited to dance topless on stage for sixty seconds. They are then ranked by audience applause. The winner gets US$500. But I think it’s unlikely that they’ll find bigger tits than the presenters over at American Idol.

In that show a bunch of has-beens get to make smart-ass comments about a bunch of wanna-bees. Contestants howl, prance and shred their dignity in a desperate lunge at their allotted fifteen minutes. But most are discarded after only a few seconds.

Could you tell the difference? It has to be admitted that Stripper Idol’s logo did have a bit of a resemblance to FremantleMedia’s cash cow. But at least it can lay claim to a touch of genuine reality. And, though I haven’t been, I’d bet that most of the contestants are actually appreciated rather than just laughed at.

Here’s an AV Idol from Japan, shaved pussy as well. Click the pic for a sneak peek.

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For years Asian women led quiet, demure lives which gave them a reputation reputation for being docile and obedient. But younger generations have become more liberated and learned to enjoy their sexuality … and their mom’s have duly taken note. Mature Asian women are even wilder in bed than their daughters

In the mythology of various Oriental countries, the dragon is the supreme spiritual power, the most ancient emblem and the most ubiquitous motif in Oriental art. They represent celestial and terrestrial power, wisdom and strength.

The Dragon is one of the 12 animals in the Chinese zodiac which is used to designate years in the Chinese calendar. Like the western horroscope it is believed that each animal is associated with certain personality traits. People born in the Year of the Dragon are healthy, energetic and excitable. They are also honest, sensitive, brave. They inspire confidence and are warm-hearted. And if it’s a milf you can be sure of a damn good fuck

Famous people born in the year of the dragon include:
Bruce Lee, Dr. Seuss, John Lennon, Salvador Dalí, Joan of Arc, Sigmund Freud, Florence Nightingale and Mae West.

See also: The last chance saloon
See also: The Red Lips bar in Hong Kong

A victim (©Cairns Post)

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A sex fiend in Cairns, Australia, has been breaking into adult shops and raping inflatable dolls before abandoning them in an alley way reports the Cairns Post.

The owner of the shop who goes by the name of Vogue said the burglar had a crush on a model called ‘Jungle Jane’. Vogue told the paper; “He has been taking the dolls out the back and blowing them up and using them and leaving them in the alley.”

Police told the Cairns Post that scientific officers had taken DNA samples, fingerprints and pictures of the crime scene.