Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

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Eartha Kitt had a profound impact on me during my formative years. The purr, the voice and the cat woman suit grabbed my attention in the same way that Diana Rigg (as Emma Peel) and the St Trinians girls did.

But Eartha was more exotic. She had a gorgeous smile and wicked glint in her eye. A glint that told of naughtiness beyond my wildest imagination.

And beyond my imagination it was. My voice was yet to break as were the spots that accompany a fellows sexual awakening. But Miss Kitt had something. I didn’t know what it was just yet but I knew I wanted a bit of it.

Eartha Kitt passed away on December 25th, 2008 at the age of 81. Good-bye Eartha.

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Did you know that the tradition of kissing under the mistletoe goes back to pagan times? The plant was believed to inspire passion and boost fertility because the white berries were said to resemble drops of semen.

Little brown fucking machines dressed as Santa also inspire passion. I hope you all find something good in stockings today,

Merry Christmas

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Lu Jiani is not a typical Chinese girl. Typical Chinese girls don’t post videos of themselves giving blowjobs on the internet. But she is one of a growing number of Chinese girls that have no shame and no guilt about using their sexuality to make some extra cash.

When I’m in Hong Kong I enjoy the services of girls from all over China. They come on short stay visas to earn money to help get them through college or to raise capital to start a business or any number of other reasons.

Lu Jiani’s video first appeared a couple of months ago. At the time she was a salesgirl for Kappi at a Shanghai department store but she quickly became quite a hit across mainland China. She’d hoped to capitalise on her notoriety but the authorities took a dim view of the whole thing and she’s been busted.

I wish her well.

I’m afraid I don’t have a link to the video but there is more information here

See also: New chip on an old block
See also: Xiao Yun - Doing her bit
Porn: Shaved China pussy

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Being stranded in Bangkok an extra week allowed me to check out a massage parlour I’d had my eye on for some time but had not got around to visiting. It’s called Love Teen but that’s just a name, all the girls I spoke to were either 22 or 23. Yes, I went four times. Well I was very stressed and besides I had to make sure that the first one wasn’t just luck and that all the other girls were just as skilled, right? Well they are!

You choose your masseuse from a photo album on the reception desk. They all looked cute and you can ask for a few to come out for closer inspection. They don’t offer the soapy massages here. They do still get in the bath with you and give you a good soaping down but there is no slithering around on an air-bed. Instead, after you’ve had your todger thoroughly washed and rinsed, you go straight over to the bed where you get a regular, but slightly more intimate, massage of the highest order.

The girls are very skilled at their job and have obviously been properly trained. She worked over my neck, back, ass and legs. The cares of the day recede and I’m almost ready to forgive humanity it’s transgressions. Well some of them anyway.

The she flips me over onto my back back. There was an item on the list of services called ‘massage ball’. I hadn’t really given much thought to this I just sort of assumed the ‘ball’ was some kind of massaging device. I was wrong. She proceeded to massage my bollocks and cock in a way that would have looked painful had I merely been watching. But it was far from painful. In fact I don’t think I’ve been handled more exquisitely, indeed she could have made me cum within seconds if she’d wanted to.

But she didn’t want to. She was in tune with every slight muscle reflex and knew just how to get me to the edge and keep me there. She kept me there for quite a few minutes. Several times I’d tried to pull her towards me but she kept just out of arms reach and I slumped back as her palms and fingertips folded around and teased me. Presently she leaned forward and whispered “You want special?”

As if she didn’t already know

Bangkok: Massage parlours
See also: A little bit of soap
See also: Little brown fucking machines

Bettie Page: Obituary
Vintage Stuff: Porn of Ages; Buried Treasure; Razzle in my Pocket