Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

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It’s come to my attention the Shady Lady Ranch, a brothel in Nevada, is offering a US$50 gas voucher to customers who spend US$300 or more on services. According to Reuters owner James Davis said he already has had to order another $1,000 set of gas vouchers because the first $1,000 were spent in one week. Brothels are illegal in most of the US but legal in parts of Nevada. The rebate would just about cover the cost of a round-trip journey from Las Vegas.

I shall be bringing this to the attention of the management at the Darling Massage Parlour. Hopefully I’ll be able to convince them to reimburse my Skytrain fares on future visits.

. . . . . . . Melons that give me a stiffy

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According to a story on ananova.com eating fresh watermelon produces the same effect as taking Viagra. You do have to eat rather a lot of it though. Six slices according to the article but it fails to say how big the slices should be.

The active ingredient in the melon is called citrulline. This reacts with an enzyme in the body to create an amino acid called arginine. “Arginine boosts nitric oxide, which relaxes blood vessels, the same basic effect that Viagra has, to treat erectile dysfunction and maybe even prevent it,” said Bhimu Patil, director of Texas A&M University’s Fruit and Vegetable Improvement Centre.

I think this could be great news, watermelons are much cheaper than Viagra and you don’t need a prescription. So next time you see me schlepping up Sukhumvit to Soi 23 with a pocket full of watermelons you’ll know what I’m up to.

See also: Recreational Drugs