Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

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Romania: Having already brought five children into the world Nicolae Popovici and his wife decided enough was enough. Time to get serious about contraception.

And serious they got. They invested in a nice comfortable super-sized condom. Unfortunately it was a bit too super-sized so to help it stay in place Nicolae super-glued it to his cock.

The super-glue, you’ll be pleased to note, lived up to all it’s manufacturers claims. Thus having reached their own private nirvana they returned to earth to find the condom had stuck fast.

They repaired to the local clinic for assistance where one of the nurses told Associated Press; “He even said that he thought the condom could be used several times and that he wanted it stuck on his penis so he could use it again later. We barely managed to remove it in the end.”

Our Model, Tussinee, has nothing to do with the story I just thought you might like to look at her.

See also: A girl like Tussinee

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I’ve been working on a review of popular condoms recently, it will be published here in due course.

Now there are just to many to do a really exhaustive survey so I’ve decided to omit all the special effect varieties, you know, the textured and the flavoured. They may be worth a post in their own right at some point in the future.

There is another type which I won’t include in the main survey but I thought I’d tell you about them now. Largely because it was the first time I’d ever tried them. These give you a tingling or warming sensation. I guessed they must be filled with the same types of herbs and oils that the respectable aromatherapy massage parlours use to sooth tired limbs all over Bangkok.

Now an old friend of mine, who sometimes hangs out at the Thermae Coffee shop and Bar, used to work in one of those parlours so I pocketed a packet of three and went off to look for her. She wasn’t hard to find. “Sawasdee ka, Khun Seymour.” She beamed. “Not see you long time.”

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Nurse Erika has a shaved pussy

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So I went for my annual medical check-up the other day, the nurse said to me; “Mr. Totti, you really must stop masturbating.”

“But w-w-why?” I stammerd.

“Because I’m trying to examine you!”, she said.

See Also: Philosophy is like an erection

Gratuitous smut, now read the story

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A new contraceptive injection for men that has been developed in Sydney is in danger of being shelved because pharmaceutical companies don’t seem very interested in making it available to the public. Whats more the Queensland government don’t seem very enthusiastic either.

Associate Professor Peter Liu, co-author of the integrated analysis study says, “My perception is that people want it but it seems to be that somehow that isn’t being heard at a government level. No one has really pushed this issue and I don’t know why that is. Sometimes, the Government doesn’t know what the community wants so the community has to tell them.”

Whether or not you’re an Australian citizen I highly recommend you contact the Queensland government on this issue. While the contraceptive is being developed in Australia its results could really help the entire planet.

Full Story: Contraceptive for men a shot in the arm

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Robots have been automating repetitive tasks for some years now so it’s something of a surprise that a device like this hasn’t seen the light of day before. Of course it was devised by the Japanese who love both wacky sex and gadgets.

There are plenty of masturbation devices on the market but this one, as far as I know, is the only one that leaves both hands completely free for …. er … well channel surfing?.

The device, called Mens Som (there’s also a Lady Som) has a speed control but it also links up with your TV and responds to the movements on screen, slow for the early minutes of a porn movie speeding up as both you and the movie reach the climax. I wonder if they’ll develop a blow job version for watching those sexy Japanese newscasters.

The Som retails at 45,000 Yen. The movie is taken from the Japanese website.

Website: English
Website: Japanese
Gallery: Lesbian shaved Japanese pussy

Unemployed French maid seeks gainful employment. Click for details

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It seems young Japanese girls dressed as saucy French maids are now passe. In Osaka maid cafes have been a eclipsed by a new otaku venture. Next time you scuff your knees, cut yourself shaving or miss the bus, head on over to Mother Cafe to have someone listen to your tale of woe and dry away the tears.

Mother Cafe is in a manga and anime store called Mandarake in the Amerika-mura district. “We staff our cafe with women who look older than they actually are, but they’re also capable of understanding worries people have.” Says manager Asahi Geino, “Our aim is to become a kind of therapeutic cafe where customers feel at ease enough to be able to open their hearts to staff.”

Waitresses are encouraged to make even the shyest customers feel at ease, and their motherly ministrations extend to hand-feeding anybody who orders a slice of cake. Regulars will be able to designate their own “mother” to serve them every time they visit and the “moms” will nag repeat visitors about their lifestyles to make the experience as real as possible. I feel reassured already.

Read also: Samurai and Samba
Website review: G-Queen-Mumo Sengen the movies