Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

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You’re laying back in a nice bubble bath with a masseuse trying to squeeze your dick between her firm soapy tits and all you can think about is whether you took the lottery tickets out your shirt pocket before you put it in the laundry, or did you put some fresh kitty litter down before you went out.

Whatever it is that’s nagging at the back of your mind it’s preventing you from focusing properly and getting the blood to where you need it. The polite term is ‘erectile dysfunction‘. You need help, but before you go and undelete all that nasty junk-mail here is a rundown on the basic differences.

Some people are of the opinion that Viagra and its ilk are only for old geezers and people that can’t get it up. But I think its useful to have around at anytime. It gives you a rock hard todger, removes uncertainty and promotes longevity. And that’s all good when you are in a two girl sandwich at the Darling Massage Parlour. And let’s face it, when you’re forking out good money for a spot of rumpy-pumpy the last thing you want is to go all floppy in the tub. And we’re on a time limit here you need to keep that downtime between boners to a minimum.

There are three main types; sildenafil, vardenafil and tadalafil. They each have their familiar branded name plus a bunch of generic equivalents. I’ve stuck to the more familiar brand names but included one generic simply because it’s presentation is different

VIAGRA (Pfizor)
sildenafil
These little blue diamonds are the original and most famous of all stiffy enhancers. And it is good, I usually get the 100mg tablets. For that trip to the Darling I’ll probably take a whole one. It can take anything from 30-60 minutes to kick in which means you need to take it well in advance. This is a bit of a bummer if you get there and find your favourite girls are busy sorting some other guy out right when you need them.

You can always chew it, then it gets into your system in about 15-20 minutes. It tastes evil but you can take it while the girls are running the bath. Just make sure there’s some mouth wash available to get rid of the taste.

Viagra is available in 25mg, 50mg and 100mg tablets. I get 100mg tablets and cut them in half. 50mg is usually enough for a quickie, 100mg seems to help get the blood pumping again ready for round two. It remains active in my body for about 3-4 hours.

KAMAGRA (Ajanta Pharma)
Sildenafil
Made in India, Kamagra contains the same active ingredient as Viagra but is an orange flavoured gel form. It’s available in 100mg sachets and tastes much better than a chewed viagra. It gets into the system in about 15-20 minutes.

The sachet is not as convenient as tablets and it is not as widely available as Viagra. But it is, where I get it from, about half the price. Although you can’t cut it in half.

I find Sildenafil to be very fickle, it doesn’t work after alcohol and is best on an empty stomach.

LEVITRA (Bayer)
vardenafil
I’ve been using Levitra a lot recently. It’s a bit more expensive than Viagra but much less fussy about what you’ve been eating and drinking. This means you don’t have to starve yourself for three hours to get the best results. So if you’re wanting to wine and dine your prospective fuckee Levitra is your man.

But it is worth remembering that it is all about absorbing them into your system. If your body is working overtime to digest a huge cheeseburger or a plate of fish, chips and mushy peas it’s going to take longer to kick in than if you had a salad or sushi. Likewise if you are full of alcohol it will take that much longer for the active ingredients to do their job.

Although it is a different active ingredient than Viagra the side-effects are pretty similar. Levitra is available in 2.5mg, 5mg, 10mg, and 20mg tablets. I get the 20mg and cut them in half.

CIALIS (Lilly ICOS)
tadalafil
The weekend pill, so-called because it remains active in your body for up to 36 hours. The advantage of this is that you don’t have to worry so much about timing. You can drop one on a Saturday morning, enjoy the benefits on the Saturday evening and still wake up with a raging boner on Sunday morning.

The disadvantage is that you potentially carry the side effects around with you for the same length of time. In my case though, the side effects seem less pronounced than with the others.

I tend to use this when I’m expecting to be with the same person for a few days.

It’s available in 5, 10, or 20 mg doses. I use the 20mg. In theory you can cut them in half but they are a daft pear-shaped tablet and I never got them quite into equal halves so I don’t bother.

At the end of the day they all give you a stiff dick and that’s what we want. You might prefer to settle on one brand that you are comfortable with or you might like to match them to the occasion. Of course the effects and side-effects will vary a little from person to person. The side-effects for all of them are pretty similar; flushes, runny nose and headaches are the most common. In my case they are all quite mild and headaches are infrequent. It’s a small price to pay for a boner that wont let you down.

*In some countries you need a prescription to get these legally. That invariably involves a medical examination even if only a brief one. I usually just buy them over the counter but that doesn’t mean I recommend that you do, there are side effects you need to consider. Remember, you are responsible for your own actions.

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