Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

A fifty five-year-old Scottish man was, according to Friday’s South China Morning Post, found in a public park in Ho Man Tin wearing a mini skirt, silk stockings, high heels and make-up. He was also padlocked and chained to a park bench. “A friend did it for fun.” he said as he was arrested for not being able to show any ID. He was later released.
It was the only interesting story in the main part of the paper but the sports section reminded me of why I was here; the annual Hong Kong Rugby Sevens. With that in mind the only question left, with regards to the Scotsman was; What the hell was he doing in Ho Man Tin? That’s miles from the stadium.

The fact that he was dressed as an East European hooker was not in the least surprising. Some cities have carnivals or Mardi Gras, Hong Kong has ‘The Sevens’.

The fun kicks of on Friday when big teams, such as the mighty All Blacks, marmalise the little teams such as Taiwan (50-5 … in less than 15 minutes). By Sunday a pecking order will have been established, big teams will play big teams and both men and women will be dressed as East European hookers, nurses, French maids, American politicians, Osama bin Ladens, pink panthers and Bananas.

They will be drinking beer and partying like the world is going to end. Before them large muscular men in tight shirts and shorts will be throwing each other in the mud, squabbling over a ball.

In the evenings the bars in the Filthy Acre will be overflowing.

New Zealand beat South Africa 26-12 in the final.

Read Also: Wanchai (aka Filthy Acre)
Read also: Getting fucked in Wanchai

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You’re laying back in a nice bubble bath with a masseuse trying to squeeze your dick between her firm soapy tits and all you can think about is whether you took the lottery tickets out your shirt pocket before you put it in the laundry, or did you put some fresh kitty litter down before you went out.

Whatever it is that’s nagging at the back of your mind it’s preventing you from focusing properly and getting the blood to where you need it. The polite term is ‘erectile dysfunction‘. You need help, but before you go and undelete all that nasty junk-mail here is a rundown on the basic differences.

Some people are of the opinion that Viagra and its ilk are only for old geezers and people that can’t get it up. But I think its useful to have around at anytime. It gives you a rock hard todger, removes uncertainty and promotes longevity. And that’s all good when you are in a two girl sandwich at the Darling Massage Parlour. And let’s face it, when you’re forking out good money for a spot of rumpy-pumpy the last thing you want is to go all floppy in the tub. And we’re on a time limit here you need to keep that downtime between boners to a minimum.

There are three main types; sildenafil, vardenafil and tadalafil. They each have their familiar branded name plus a bunch of generic equivalents. I’ve stuck to the more familiar brand names but included one generic simply because it’s presentation is different

VIAGRA (Pfizor)
sildenafil
These little blue diamonds are the original and most famous of all stiffy enhancers. And it is good, I usually get the 100mg tablets. For that trip to the Darling I’ll probably take a whole one. It can take anything from 30-60 minutes to kick in which means you need to take it well in advance. This is a bit of a bummer if you get there and find your favourite girls are busy sorting some other guy out right when you need them.

You can always chew it, then it gets into your system in about 15-20 minutes. It tastes evil but you can take it while the girls are running the bath. Just make sure there’s some mouth wash available to get rid of the taste.

Viagra is available in 25mg, 50mg and 100mg tablets. I get 100mg tablets and cut them in half. 50mg is usually enough for a quickie, 100mg seems to help get the blood pumping again ready for round two. It remains active in my body for about 3-4 hours.

KAMAGRA (Ajanta Pharma)
Sildenafil
Made in India, Kamagra contains the same active ingredient as Viagra but is an orange flavoured gel form. It’s available in 100mg sachets and tastes much better than a chewed viagra. It gets into the system in about 15-20 minutes.

The sachet is not as convenient as tablets and it is not as widely available as Viagra. But it is, where I get it from, about half the price. Although you can’t cut it in half.

I find Sildenafil to be very fickle, it doesn’t work after alcohol and is best on an empty stomach.

LEVITRA (Bayer)
vardenafil
I’ve been using Levitra a lot recently. It’s a bit more expensive than Viagra but much less fussy about what you’ve been eating and drinking. This means you don’t have to starve yourself for three hours to get the best results. So if you’re wanting to wine and dine your prospective fuckee Levitra is your man.

But it is worth remembering that it is all about absorbing them into your system. If your body is working overtime to digest a huge cheeseburger or a plate of fish, chips and mushy peas it’s going to take longer to kick in than if you had a salad or sushi. Likewise if you are full of alcohol it will take that much longer for the active ingredients to do their job.

Although it is a different active ingredient than Viagra the side-effects are pretty similar. Levitra is available in 2.5mg, 5mg, 10mg, and 20mg tablets. I get the 20mg and cut them in half.

CIALIS (Lilly ICOS)
tadalafil
The weekend pill, so-called because it remains active in your body for up to 36 hours. The advantage of this is that you don’t have to worry so much about timing. You can drop one on a Saturday morning, enjoy the benefits on the Saturday evening and still wake up with a raging boner on Sunday morning.

The disadvantage is that you potentially carry the side effects around with you for the same length of time. In my case though, the side effects seem less pronounced than with the others.

I tend to use this when I’m expecting to be with the same person for a few days.

It’s available in 5, 10, or 20 mg doses. I use the 20mg. In theory you can cut them in half but they are a daft pear-shaped tablet and I never got them quite into equal halves so I don’t bother.

At the end of the day they all give you a stiff dick and that’s what we want. You might prefer to settle on one brand that you are comfortable with or you might like to match them to the occasion. Of course the effects and side-effects will vary a little from person to person. The side-effects for all of them are pretty similar; flushes, runny nose and headaches are the most common. In my case they are all quite mild and headaches are infrequent. It’s a small price to pay for a boner that wont let you down.

*In some countries you need a prescription to get these legally. That invariably involves a medical examination even if only a brief one. I usually just buy them over the counter but that doesn’t mean I recommend that you do, there are side effects you need to consider. Remember, you are responsible for your own actions.

Read also: A bitter taste
Read also: (Little blue) Diamonds are a Boys Best Friend

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I found this fabulous Video on Lisa Baxter’s site. Hollywood cranked out hundreds of short propaganda and public awareness campaign films back in the 40’s and 50’s.

This little gem deals with Lesbianism, which at the time was viewed as a disease rather than a lifestyle. It was written and produced by Cecil B. DeMille and Alfred Hitchcock.

For brevity the film has been edited to its opening introduction, and the crucial last five minutes of the film, which has Norman Bate’s fingerprints all over it.

It makes you wonder why they spend all that money on tedious sitcoms when they could just re-run these over and over.

Classic vintage porn movies

Mature Asian women: Not shy and demure any more

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From the novel A killing Smile by Christopher Moore:

“Zeno, Headquarters, HQ, the Star Wars Bar on Sukhumvit. You can’t miss it. Fake Greek columns in front of a sign that reads Turkish Bath, Barber, Massage, Espresso Coffee Shop. Fritters fried in big pots of palm oil outside the entrance. Beggars, bar girls, diplomats, spies, writers, bums, ex-Nazis, merchants, gangsters, tourists drifting in and out, eating at makeshift sidewalk cafes beside food carts and stalls. Cuttlefish and lottery vendors working the crowds. Like you, they’re all looking for shamans and ghosts.”

The Greek pillars and the massage parlour have gone now, the original building was demolished. But within days of the original closing, in 1996, a new one opened just a few doors away. It is now in the basement of Ruamchitt Plaza, 199 Sukhumvit Road. Some of the surroundings have changed, since Moore’s description, but the overall atmosphere remains.

It first opened in the 60’s. Cheap beer and cheap women made it a popular hangout for GIs on R&R from Vietnam. It was one of a number of bars that included Thai Yanok, The Blue Fox and the Grace Hotel coffee shop. Thermae is the only one left.

Approaching from Nana it is on the left. You have to elbow your way through a forest of market stalls where package tourists from all over the world come to haggle for cheap trinkets and t-shirts. An illuminated yellow sign points out the steps down to Thermae from behind a barrier of motorbikes. Most tourists don’t see it, it’s not mentioned in the glossy brochures.

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Hold still a moment, I think you’ve got something in your eye

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“Hi Khun Seymour,” she beamed as she put the bottle in front of me. “How you?”

“I’m good, Em, and how are you?”

“I’m not Em, I’m Lek!” I was shell-shocked, I’ve known her for at least two years and I’d always thought her name was Em.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “I thought you were Em.” She stuck her bottom lip out. “But if it will help make things better”, I continued, “go and get yourself a drink.” She beamed again and was gone.

Thai bargirls never get names muddled up. Even after an absence of a few years, if you bump into someone you knew back then, it’s quite probable she’ll still remember your name.

“Chogdee ka.” Said Lek, offering her glass of lemonade.

“Chogdee krap.” I replied clinking my beer bottle against it. “Where is An today?”

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