Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

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Carnival kicks off this weekend in Brazil. In Sao Paulo the festivities will be augmented by a 1,000 strong contingent of Japanese samba dancers. They will be led by a native Japanese, Yuka Sugiura, 36 who moved to Brazil eight years ago to indulge her passion for for the dance.

The Japanese have a thing about Brazilian bum wiggling- well who doesn’t eh?. Tokyo alone has about ten samba schools and every August a samba carnival is held in the Asakusa district.

Back in Brazil the Japanese community are celebrating the 100th anniversary of the first immigrants, who arrived on board a ship on June, 1908 to work on coffee plantations.

Elsewhere in Brazil, the city of Recife will be handing out morning-after pills despite objections from the catholic church which sought to block the move through legal channels. Health Minister Jose Gomes Temporao said “The morning-after pill is used with medical guidance and is a matter of public health, not religion.”

In Rio de Janeiro almost 20 million free condoms will be distributed.

I’m not going to Rio but I might consider going to Tokyo in August. Meanwhile click on the picture of the Japanese maid and you can see her delicious shaved pussy.

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I was sorry to discover that the the Red Lips bar in Kowloon is, like the staff it became famous for, now in it’s twilight years. I was chatting with the mama-san the other evening. She told me that she had worked there for fifteen years and that in three more years, when the bar closes down, she would retire.

I almost choked on my beer. The Red Lips is almost certainly the oldest bar in Hong Kong and, whilst it may be true that I hadn’t been there myself for donkey’s years, I was sad indeed to hear of it’s impending closure. I have some very fond memories of the place.

The bar’s beginnings are uncertain. The story that most people like to believe is that it started life as a taxi-dance bar sometime before the Japanese invasion of 1941. Another theory is that it was started by an American serviceman, at the end of the Korean war, to give retired ladies of the night jobs as hostesses.

One thing is for certain, when I first went there in the mid-eighties the girls had all been around for at least that long. But they were excellent hostesses and they had no shame in telling you what services they could offer if only … I don’t know if any customers did engage in sexual shenanigans, I wouldn’t be surprised. For my part I was still too young and hadn’t discovered the pleasures of the MILF. Though perhaps they did help to turn my head.

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Shanghai girls are said to be the most beautiful in China. They are also quite rare, unless you go to Shanghai of course which is not something I do very often … and certainly not at this time of the year. It’s cold enough in Hong Kong.

Usually I even give Honkers a wide berth until the Rugby Sevens but with the Beijing Olympics only a matter of months away and considerable brouhaha already emanating from the former British territory it seems that the tendrils of my other life will keep dragging me back this year. Until the summer at least.

Still I like to look on the bright side and being back in HK at least afforded me the opportunity to go and fuck Miki, who I’d been to see a couple of times before.

Alas it was not little Miki that opened the door. “Where’s Miki?” I asked, but even if the new occupant knew the answer, she clearly couldn’t speak a word of English and thus wouldn’t be able to tell me. Never-the-less she opened the door and invited me in.

She wore a black mini skirt and white top unbuttoned enough for me to see hr push-me-up bra and the swell of her boobs. She was tall. Black knee-high boots, with heels that were not particularly high brought her eyes level with mine.

She had clear, pale skin and long black hair. My Mandarin is pretty crap but with a little effort I was able to establish that she was 22 and from Shanghai. She’d been in Hong Kong for five days and was planning to stay a month to raise money so she could start a business back home.

This was the face of modern China I thought. It was an attractive face so I decided to stay and explore the body. It was slim and well proportioned. Firm full boobs, not over-large but a nice handful.

Her pussy was trimmed and tidy but not shaved. I have no preference on this, to me all pussy is good pussy. This one was tight and sweet. She didn’t work it like an experienced whore but she certainly knew how to enjoy herself and obviously didn’t feel the job was done until we had both achieved a satisfactory orgasm. She kept me on the brink until she was ready and we came in one almighty explosion.

“Goods?” she managed to ask between gasps of breath. Goods! I affirmed. Feeling pleased that I had found another great hooker. Now all I needed was to find out where Miki had moved to.

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Anybody who has been to Asia will no doubt have been appalled at the amount of disposable chopsticks the region gets through in a lunch hour. I once toyed with the idea of printing up a couple of thousand paper chopstick sleeves to give away as a promo. All went well until I came to placing the order for the chopsticks to put inside. “Yes Mr. Totti,” came the young ladies voice at the other end of the phone, “and how many hundred thousand would you like?”

But, for environmentally conscious women, Triumph Japan have launched the “My Hashi” or “My Chopsticks”, a bra designed to promote environmentally friendly measures to reduce the use of disposable chopsticks.

The company claimed it was to the growing trend of Japanese who carry their own personal chopsticks so they would not have to use the disposable ones provided by restaurants.

But the bra has benefits beyond saving the planet. The chopsticks encased in either side of the bra push up breasts and gently accentuate cleavage whilst simultaneously guaranteeing TV air time and a rash of You Tube postings.

.There is some potential there. The traditional way of eating rice with chopsticks is to raise the bowl to the mouth and gently shovel the rice between the lips. The other cup represent a bowl of miso soup, you don’t need chopsticks for that you can just put it in your mouth and suck.

You don’t need chopsticks for eating shaved pussy either.

NB. Most of the Youtube movies are the same but this one had the cutest presenter.

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Happy New Year to everyone. Yes, it’s a bit late. But not as late as two contenders for this years Darwin Award. Back in June the 21-year-old couple from Columbia, South Carolina gave their all in the quest for the ultimate orgasm.

They were found unconscious and naked in the middle of the road. There was no sign of a struggle, no wrecked vehicles nearby and no witnesses. Nobody had a clue as to what could have happened.

Their clothes were eventually found in two neatly folded plies on a nearby rooftop. I appears that, at a moment of heightened excitement, they plummeted sixty feet into the road below coming and going at the same time.

Next time I shag on the roof I’ll take ample breasted Nancy Ho to cushion the fall.