chinese pussyThe new double decker Airbus A380 is now winging passengers between Singapore and Sydney. For those with the inclination and enough cash to spare there are super first class cabins complete with double bed, a telly, champers and a liberal sprinkling of pink rose petals. But sex is not allowed.

According to Stephen Forshaw, an official at Singapore airlines “There are things that are acceptable on an aircraft and things that aren’t, and the rules for behaviour in our double beds are the same ones that apply throughout the aircraft.”

What a prude, eh? You’d think that with a ticket price of over US$20,000 for a private room you’d at least be allowed to have a shag but Forshaw goes on to say; “If couples used our double beds to engage in inappropriate activity, we would politely ask them to desist.”

Or what?, he’ll throw them off the plane? But how would they know? Are the trolly dollies instructed to stick their heads round the door every fifteen minutes to check?

“Hey, are you two fucking?”

“Er, no miss, we just having a good night hug”

“Alright so lift the covers up let me see”

mile high clubI tend to think it’s inappropriate too, in so far as getting into the mile high club is concerned. Let’s face it, anyone can get their end away in a private suite but the real fun is squeezing it in on row 39, seats D and E and waiting for turbulence. Now that is kudos that money can’t buy.