Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

Well it’s been pretty quite this last week or so. Largely because I’ve been watching European footy. But the only thing to smile about there was singer Tony Henry’s interpretation of the Croatian national anthem.

Mr Henry is not a native Croat speaker but such trifling details mean nothing to him. Instead he poured all his heart and soul into the anthem and sang loud and strong to 80,000 football fans; “My dear, my penis is a mountain.”

The last line of verse two had been mistranslated. At the time only the Croatian team noticed and it inspired them sufficiently to knock England out of the European Championships.

Janet Jackson and tit

It was probably the best stadium blunder since Janet Jackson revealed her nipple bling. Henry said “If I have offended any Croatians, they have my deepest apologies.” Fotrunately he didn’t show them his nipples so I don’t think he has much to worry about.

Noi Kanya isn’t Croatian, she’s Thai. The Thai word noi means ‘little’ and little Noi Kanya is the star of her her own website. That’s her on the right looking all cute and shaggable.

It’s a new site. If you click on the picture you can see some more pictures from that set. She doesn’t have to sing a national anthem to make you stand up.

The previous post called A song and dance with the lovely Mela flashing her panties and wiggling her ass reminded me of the Japanese Air Sex Awards I wrote about back in May. So I did a little search and found this revealing three minute documentary from Japanorama.

In other news a man in Scotland has been placed on probation for having sex with his bicycle. According to a story on the BBC website, Robert Stewart, 51, was caught his bicycle clips down by two cleaning ladies. They had knocked his bedroom door at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr several times and, receiving no reply, assumed that he was out.

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They used a master key to unlock the door and saw the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down. He was holding the bike in a compromising position and moving his hips back and forth. They were both shocked.

Stewart was placed on probation for three years and also on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.

The sweet little Thai pussy at the top there is called Garfield. She can pump my tyres anytime

Ho

Ho

(Nancy) Ho

It appears that Santa’s familiar greeting could be confused with gangsta rap … in Australia at least. Sydney recruitment company Westaff have been advising this seasons crop of Santa’s to avoid using the time honoured “Ho, ho, ho” phrase because it could be offensive to women.

I’ve spent most of today trying to imagine what gangsta rap would sound like with an Australian accent. I also wondered if Westaff actually pay people to think of these things. Now my head hurts so I’m going to see a ho and then I’m going to get rat-arsed.

Everywhere you go in Asia you’ll find bars and discos that play the latest western pop and disco hits. It’s easy to forget that most places have their own indigenous pop music. Watch a group of Thai bar girls when the music suddenly changes from western pop to luuk thung or mor lam. Music that grew out of the folk styles of the Isaan district. Suddenly they dance and sing along with considerably more passion. The lyrics often tell of treacherous love or hardship in the fields, subjects to which they can all relate.

Probably the most licentious is an Indonesian style called Dangdut. These days the word dangdut is applied to almost any locally produced pop but it was born in the seedy working class areas of north Jakarta in the mid-1970s. It sounded like a cross between Indian, Arabic belly dance music and reggae and was always played live by a band comprising 4 or 5 musicians, usually male.

By the mid eighties, when I first caught up with it, the style was already well on its way into the mainstream but there were still a few clubs along Jalan Mangga Besar. One that I found was ‘rustic’ to say the least. But the band was pumping and the waitresses, when not fetching beers, would perform a hypnotic dance.

It was obviously rooted in classical dance styles but adapted for modern rhythms. It seemed as if the girls were almost in a trance. There was no pelvis thrusting or hip wiggling, they were not dancing for any audience. They seemed to be dancing for the sensuality of the moves themselves. It was one of the most erotic dances I have ever witnessed. And, of course, there was a facility out the back where the waitresses could serve you more fully.

That old style of dancing may have passed into history now but in 2003 dangdut star Inul Daratista scandalised the nation by taking the hip thrusting style to entirely new heights prompting calls for a ban on her concerts and the drafting of a new anti-pornography bill.

But the hip thrusting caught on and continues unabated, as singer Mela Anjana admirably demonstrates

The peoples pussy takes a pee. Click the pic to see!

Back in the 1960s Chinese people were directed to devote themselves to the dictums of Mao Zedong in his famous little red book – a tome that allocated not so much as a single line to male-female relationships. For the Great Helmsman love was a bourgeois sentiment. Romantic literature was forbidden and lovelorn pop ballads were replaced with revolutionary operas.

But times have changed. According to Qiu Haitao, in his book China’s Sexual Cultural Revolution, attitudes toward sex in his country have swung from severe suppression to licentious lenience in the space of just four decades. The sleeping dragon has awakened … and it’s got a hard-on!

Evidence of this can be found in the arcade of sex shops collectively named “Shanghai Kaishimen Baojianpin Shichang” or the Shanghai Arch of Triumph Health Products Market which occupies an entire floor of a building, and whose shelves are filled with a huge variety of vibrators, latex love dolls, SM paraphernalia, colorful costumes, condoms, vivid videos and lubricant lotions.

But that is not all that is available. According to Qiu there are an estimated 7 million sex workers, a number roughly twice that of the People’s Liberation Army and public security forces combined.

Hooters Shanghai

College girls after quick buck sometimes work part time as hostesses engaging in karaoke, dinner and a spot of peoples nookie.

In the impoverished hinterland peichuang baomu, or beddable housemaids, are women in their 30s or 40s who are willing to move in with a man and do his laundry, cleaning and cooking by day, and provide sexual services by night.

Still others contribute to the nation’s foreign earnings by travelling to Hong Kong, Macau and Japan to hook for a month on tourist visas.

Incidently, Macau now has the world’s largest casino and gambling turnover in 2006 came US$6.95bn trumping the Vegas Strip’s US$6.5bn.

Since the Brits left Hong Kong has become even more of a cultural melting pot. Asia’s World City, as the government’s PR machine calls it, now boasts commercial pussy from all over Asia as well as Latin America and Eastern Europe. Never has the city been home to so many Suzie Wongs with such a wide range of complexions